Politics
-
Turns Out That Mike Pence Hot Mic Empty Box Moment Was Just a Joke [Corrected]
Correction: Tuesday, May 8, 2020, 4:58 p.m. EDT: The last time I snitched I was 12. Me and another kid had gotten caught shooting BB guns in the woods and the apartment rental office where I lived found out and threatened to kick us out. They thought the guns were real. My dad walked me…
-
Welcome to the Jungle, Steve Mnuchin: Axl Rose Brings the Treasury Secretary to His Knees, Knees
Axl Rose, lead singer for Guns N’ Roses is tired of Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin’s bullshit. On Wednesday, the frontman with tonsils made from barbed wire noted that some 70,000 Americans have died from the coronavirus and in case anyone was trying to figure out whether or not Steven Mnuchin on Trump’s taint was an…
-
Trump Hires Donor With No Experience to Run the U.S. Postal Service. What Could Go Wrong?
Since taking office, Trump has declared war on two enemies: Obama and America. For years, the president has waged an all-out offensive attack on the former president, who doesn’t give a fuck about him. Obama is living proof that ignoring haters burns them way worse than engaging them. Obama has literally been living his best…
-
Georgia Gov. Brian Kemp: I Totally Messed Up Reopening the State, Growing Outbreak Is Stressing Resources
Notorious thief and Georgia Gov. Brian Kemp—who successfully stole the governorship from America’s darling and possibly Joe Biden’s vice presidential pick, Stacey Abrams—warned Tuesday that he might be dumber than the current president. Remember it was Kemp who walked out to a podium in front of God and errbody and said, in April—April!—that he just…
-
Trump Walks Out to ‘Live and Let Die,’ Says He’s Willing to Lose Some Lives to Save the Economy
Because the president couldn’t stay his orange ass in the White House any longer, he left Tuesday to visit a factory in Phoenix, Ariz., that makes N95 masks, and for some reason—maybe foreshadowing; definitely foreshadowing—Guns ‘N Roses’ “Live and Let Die” blared through the speakers. When I say it was bizarre, that’s an understatement. It…
-
Trump Is a Fuckboi and Fauci Is the Homie Who’s About to Expose His Lying Ass
Back in my fuckboi days, when I had like four girlfriends, I used to do a move I called, “divide and keep dividing.” It looked like this: I would tell one girlfriend a lie and then I had to keep her away from anyone else who could tell her the truth because that would fuck…
-
George Conway Video Places Coronavirus Mishaps on Trump; President Calls Him 'Moonface' in Twitter Rage
White House counselor Kellyanne Conway is Trump’s mouthpiece. She is a news outlet favorite because she can spin any Trump fuckup into a beautiful word salad of bullshit. It’s truly a skill. George T. Conway III is a prominent attorney and arguably Trump’s biggest adversary. He constantly trolls Trump on Twitter. He even co-founded a…
-
Former NJ Gov. Chris Christie Wants to Reopen Country, Says People Die Everyday, B.
Former New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, the man who once closed a beach because of a state government shutdown and then took his ass to that closed beach to chill, said Monday that the country is going to lose a few people to the coronavirus but it needs to reopen anyway. “Of course, everybody wants…
-
Rep. Ayanna Pressley Addresses Joe Biden Assault Allegations: 'We Still Don't Know What Survivor Justice Looks Like'
Massachusetts Congresswoman Ayanna Pressley penned an open letter to former Vice President Joe Biden on Tuesday calling for the presumptive presidential Democratic nominee to give a response that “models the empathy, diligence, and acknowledgment of broken systems that this conversation demands.” Rep. Pressley’s letter, titled “It’s 2020 and We Still Don’t Know What Survivor Justice…