Politicos Want Biden Out of the Basement. Stay Your Ass Right There, Joe

Illustration for article titled Politicos Want Biden Out of the Basement. Stay Your Ass Right There, Joe
Photo: DNCC (Getty Images)

Apparently some Democrats and Republicans have been making fun of Democratic presidential Joe Biden’s respect for the Chevy Tahoe of airborne diseases, COVID-19. There is a movement of folks who believe that with the election less than three months away, Biden should be traveling around the country and social distancing while air-kissing babies.

Advertisement

“I think a lot of people thought, ‘If Obama can get on a plane and travel, why can’t Biden?’” one Democratic strategist, who noted that Obama made the trip from Massachusetts to Philadelphia for his Democratic National Convention address, told the Hill.

“I know we all believe in science and building a contrast with Republicans on COVID, I get that. But no one I know is stuck at home. Folks are moving around. They’re traveling. Some schools are reopening,” the strategist said.

Advertisement

“I don’t know how sustainable this is for Biden.”

Who gives a fuck how this is sustainable for Biden. America needs him to cross the presidential election finish line and then take his oath of office and then ensure that the Clampetts are moved the fuck out of the White House and then he can sit in the presidential basement for all I care. At this point, we know that Biden is safe and as long as he’s not stripping and dancing around Paul George, he should remain that way.

There are almost two things that I can guarantee with Biden staying in the basement:

  1. It limits his accessibility for off-the-cuffs gaffes comments as Biden has been known to threaten to “punch a motherfucker in his shit” for anything these days.
  2. It helps him stay COVID-19 safe.


I’m not saying Biden is Ruth Bader Ginsburg or Cicely Tyson–you know, people we must protect at all costs–but he’s damn close to it.

Advertisement

But not everyone sees it this way.

Democratic strategist Christy Setzer told the Hill that with such a short time to go before a president is elected, Biden should be on the election trail.

Advertisement

“He can and he should,” Setzer said. “Not just to meet actual voters and hear their concerns face to face, but to generate local media attention.”

Let’s be clear: If something, God forbid, were to happen to Biden before the election, Democrats are not going to support Kamala for president. They are cool with her now, but niggas be shady AF when things change. Don’t even sit there and act like they would. They wouldn’t. So I don’t give a fuck if we have to Weekend at Bernie’s Biden’s ass into the White House, we must and one way to ensure that is to leave Biden in the basement where no one can get to him.

Advertisement

If you have been living in this year and still need Biden to come and talk with you personally in order to sway your vote, then you are most likely a white person and you are definitely a racist. So fuck you and your vote.

As my uncle told me, “You don’t have to love Biden, you just have to vote for him and we can sort out the rest four years from now.”

Advertisement

At this point, Biden is Michael Jackson’s glitter glove, or Miles Davis’ first painting when he stopped smoking. He’s Huey Newton’s panther beret; meaning it’s cool to bring it out when company comes over so that you can show it off but as soon as they leave you need to put that shit right back in the safe, which for Black America is either a shoe box or a Crown Royal bag.


Join the discussion! The Root is hosting its first-ever, virtual Root Institute, presented by Target, featuring several of the leading minds in our community talking about politics, culture, health, community building and social impact. Subscribe for updates today!

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.

Share This Story

Get our newsletter

DISCUSSION

sassinak11
Sassinak11

Your uncle is correct.. and a position I’ve been saying most democrats should adopt.. don’t try to get the PERFECT person (no such thing) and don’t get cheesed off every time some minor crap floats to the top this week in national “Bring ‘er down” (the news media).

Get into office, and THEN figure out the details.. (its been the republican strategy and its worked well for them.. they may loath the cheese stain.. but they hold their noses and smile to support him just to get into the office.. once their they can work the system from within.. (easier to change things when you are inside the building.. than from outside).