For the sake of transparency, I must say that when Sonoco says they have fostered a “culture of diversity, inclusion and unity” for over 119 years, it is one of the few times I believe a multinational corporation. Both my grandmother and grandfather retired from the company that hired them to work alongside white employees when segregation was still legal in South Carolina, where the company is headquartered.


But apparently Pool Patrol Paul didn’t get the company memo, and now is searching for a job. Hopefully, he can find employment in the lucrative sector of cop-calling. Maybe he should put in an application at Starbucks or send his resume to Donald Trump. Perhaps there’s an opening at the Mar-a-Lago pool for a value realization leader who doubles as a hall monitor on weekends.

But my favorite part of this story is that this all happened on Wednesday, July 4. Aside from employing my grandparents, I worked in the factories there during summers while I was in college. One of the best things about the job was that Sonoco would shut down all of their operations on Independence Day and give employees the entire week off. I sincerely hope they still do this, because we all know what that would mean:

Paul Blart, Pool Cop was fired on his day off.