Papa John just wonβt go wash the pizza grease off his face, remove his foot from his mouth and sit his ass down somewhere. John Schnatter, the founder of Papa Johnβs cardboard-ass pizza that tastes like a wagon wheel covered in ketchup with toppings, still believes that he can come back from dropping βniggerβ in a board meeting.
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The official pizza of the alt-whites and people who still believe in the luxury of above-ground swimming pools has worked hard to remove his face as the mascot of the pizza company, but Schnatter says, wayment. Schnatter still believes that if he just explains himself to the people, he can still be a viable asset to the undead and Skellyanne Conwayβs most favorite pizza.
βMy persona resonates with the consumer because itβs authentic, itβs genuine and itβs the truth,β Schnatter said in a phone interview with the Associated Press late Wednesday.
For those of you that donβt care about anything that Papa John has ever done, let me give you a refresher course. Besides allowing the top of his head to softly hold Peyton Manningβs balls, he also blamed sagging pizza sales on the NFLβs handling of black player protests. Then, Papa John dropped βniggerβ in a media training conference call in May, which he blamed on someone else. He resigned as chairman and then he came back and apologized and noted that βniggerβ was taken out of context. He now claims that he resigned hastily and wants back into the company that boasts the favorite pizza of people who pick their teeth with straws.
It might be time for Papa John to kick his feet up on his recliner and relax back into βno one gives a fuck about your apology or your shitty-ass pizzaβ town and take comfort in knowing that this part of his life, the shilling of pizza that tastes like car exhaust, is over.
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