Photo: Getty

If there’s one thing Florida just can’t bring itself to do, it’s put George Zimmerman’s lumpy, sentient-trash-bag ass in jail.

On Tuesday, after Zimmerman’s attorney pleaded no contest to stalking charges stemming from a Jay-Z-produced documentary on the life and death of Trayvon Martin, the black teen Zimmerman killed in 2012, a Seminole County judge gave the serial dumpster fire one year of probation.

As ABC News reports, Zimmerman was given a misdemeanor charge for stalking a private investigator working on Trayvon docuseries Trayvon Martin: Rest in Power. According to earlier reports, Zimmerman sent hundreds of messages to Dennis Warren, who was hired to find potential subjects to participate in the documentary. Zimmerman was charged with stalking Warren in May.

From ABC News:

Warren said Zimmerman made scores of harassing emails and telephone calls, threatening the private investigator and his family starting last December. The threats included details about his life that few people knew, such as where he was traveling and on what airline, said Warren, who got extra security for his house.

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In the messages, Zimmerman also allegedly threatened Jay-Z and Beyoncé, texting, “Oh yea and tell Jay-Z he’s a bitch and his wife’s a broke whore,” and “If I see either of them in my life, they’ll find themselves inside a 13 foot gator.”

Judge Mark Herr “admonished” Zimmerman, who wasn’t in court that day, according to ABC News.

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Speaking to Zimmerman’s attorney Zahra Umansky, Judge Herr said, “Please counsel him. Words do matter.”

Wow. I’m sure that violent idiot is shaking in his boots.

Under Zimmerman’s “no contest” plea, he doesn’t have to admit guilt, and “a conviction is withheld if the conditions of the plea are met,” ABC News explains. Warren, for his part, seems convinced that Zimmerman won’t be able to meet the terms of his probation for a year.

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“He can’t stay away from trouble. He’s toxic,” Warren said.

Since being acquitted for killing Trayvon in 2013, Zimmerman has been no stranger to the inside of a court house. He’s been charged twice with domestic aggravated assault—though those charges were later dropped.

Despite all the evidence to the contrary, Herr told the court, “We would like to not have to see his name for a while.”

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Good fucking luck.