Two days after Mercedes Smith, 18, was found unresponsive after an apparent suicide in her dorm room at Lindsey Wilson College on April 20, her boyfriend, Markeice Brown, 17, took his own life amid accusations that Smith’s death was his fault.
Smith was reportedly pregnant with Markeice’s child.
After learning of Smith’s death, Markeice posted a lengthy Facebook status trying to process his grief:
Today I lost my wife I should say I lost my life, can’t put in words how i feel, we just talked last night why you ain’t tell me? Even tho we knew we ain’t have nobody we knew we had eachother, you was really a reflection of me you knew how I felt knew when I was feeling and you though it was crazy how I knew something was wrong even when you would fake a smile , it feel like my life just ended it we just talked Tho why you ain’t say nothing man why???? Why bra whyyyyy ???? You was so special to me you meant so much to me you showed me a lot but most importantly you loved me for me not what I brought to the the table first day we met we talked for almost 6 hours straight in the car as if we known Eachother forever I knew yo Likes dislikes goals everything about you I knew I’m just lost more lost than ever Y’all saying this’ll get better man stfu I ain’t Tryna here that y’all don’t know this feeling a mf you talk to shared countless memories with is gone forever a mf you talked to all day everyday about any and everything a mf you didn’t go a day without saying you loved , man we use to get so sad Cus we couldn’t see Eachother you remember puddin? I seen you two weeks ago it’s just like I brought so much joy to yo day you couldn’t stop crying when you hadda to leave you kept Sayin “this ain’t fair” man no this ain’t fair..... I never cried this hard and long in my life you had my whole heart not a piece of it we was soul mates you was my soul my heart the reason i woke up every morning first person I talk to Ina morning and the last a night ......so how tf y’all expect me to be “ALRIGHT” ?????!!!!!???!!!!
According to ColumbiaMagazine.com, Smith was a communication freshman and member of the LWC track-and-field team.
“We were deeply saddened to learn of the passing of Mercedes,” said Lindsey Wilson President William T. Luckey Jr. “Our thoughts and prayers are with her family, friends and teammates and the entire LWC community during this incredibly difficult time.”
“Mercedes was a good-spirited person who showed promise in her future,” said LWC track-and-field head coach Jamaine Gordon. “She was a fun and loving person, and everyone enjoyed being around her. She will be truly missed.”
“Anytime you learn of the death in a community, it’s a shock,” said Vice President of Student Services and Enrollment Management Dean Adams. “Everybody is going to deal with this in their own way. There is no right way or no wrong way—but we will be solely focused on supporting those who loved her.
Adams told Columbia Magazine that the school is providing counseling resources for students.
According to a Facebook Live video that Markeice posted before he committed suicide, he was being blamed for Smith’s death despite how much he loved her. Clearly in pain, Markeice said his final goodbyes to his friends and loved ones, including his mother:
I love all y’all, but I’m tired of being blamed for everything. I just can’t do it no more. Y’all don’t even know what she was going through. Y’all don’t know what we was going through.
...Ma, I love you. I love you, Ma. I just can’t do this no more...I love all my brothers, man. I love all my sisters, man. Real talk.
I don’t know what else to say. I’m trying to get all my words out before I go...I can’t do this no more, brah. I tried. Everybody knew I loved Mercedes, brah. Y’all sound dumb if y’all think I didn’t.
“I just want to be around love, y’all. I just want to be around love...my grandma and ’Cedes. That’s all I want to be. I love y’all. I’m out,” Markeice said before ending the feed.
Editor’s note: Trigger warning: Suicidal thoughts; grief. Please watch this video with caution.
Markeice’s friends have taken to social media to celebrate the teen’s life; some have expressed heartbreak that he didn’t call them instead of “going live” on Facebook.
Our deepest condolences go out to the friends and family of this beautiful young couple.
If you or someone you know is having suicidal thoughts, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 800-273-8255. You are not alone.