I am not saying that God, the universe, Rihannayoncé or whoever you worship as a higher power is petty, but in one of the most hilarious twists of fate ever, Apple’s vice president of inclusion and diversity, Denise Young Smith, who once whitesplained how hiring 12 white, blond, blue-eyed men could actually be seen as promoting diversity, has been replaced.
By a blond, blue-eyed white woman.
I’m not laughing. That’s how it sounds when I clear my throat.
In October, Young Smith was roundly criticized for her feeble attempt to change the definition of diversity when she told a group of international business leaders, “There can be 12 white, blue-eyed, blond men in a room and they’re going to be diverse, too, because they’re going to bring a different life experience and life perspective to the conversation.”
After the statement, many executives in the tech industry began taking bets on how long it would be before Apple got rid of Young Smith like it did the home button, allowing her to start the rap career for which she already has the perfect name.
Apparently, when Apple realized that its chief of diversity didn’t actually know what the hell the word “diversity” meant, it quietly decided to upgrade its VP of the Inclusion and Diversity Office to a new operating system.
According to TechCrunch, Young Smith With the Loose Lips (the name of her new hip-hop album not available on iTunes) will be replaced by Christie Smith (no, that’s not Denise’s cousin), a white woman who many say qualified herself for the job by Googling the word “diversity” while she was sitting in the lobby waiting for the job interview.
Young Smith Packing the Four Fifth and Apple both say that she had been planning to leave the company before she made the unfortunate comments, but we all know how that goes. It’s like when a woman curves a guy and he says, “She wasn’t that cute anyway.” There is no truth to the rumor that Young Saditty Smitty was also the one who came up with the bright idea to get rid of the headphone jack.
... And just when I thought I had a plug to get me an iPhone X.
Read more at TechCrunch.