When Janet Jackson decided to stop depriving us of her splendor, I was elated. “No Sleeep” was her best single in years and managed to be a successful launch for her Unbreakable album, which debuted at No. 1 on the Billboard 200.
Then came the other part of her comeback: the world tour. You know, the one she abruptly stopped because she decided to have a baby at 50.
When Janet announced that the tour was going to be on hold as a result of one of the best medical miracles money can buy, even her most ardent fans asked for a refund, understandably assuming that Janet was going to circle back and tell us, “I can’t butterfly right now, you guys. I’m breast-feeding.”
However, Janet is indeed back—for the newly rechristened State of the World tour. Tickets for the tour, which begins in September, are now for sale, but as much as I love me some Janet Jackson, I have a few concerns I want to address. Keep in mind, I’ve already purchased my tickets, and the goddess is free to tell me to go fuck myself and enjoy whatever she gives me.
She’s Janet Jackson, so I will, but I have a few requests all the same.
Now, I noticed from the clips of the then-Unbreakable tour that Janet was far more subdued in her appearance than she had been in years past. Moreover, she was curiously skipping select lines in some of her biggest hits. For example, she definitely wasn’t singing about spotting a nice package and needing to ride it, as echoed on “All for You,” anymore.
It was a bit disappointing. Girl, you better sing about riding that dick. You’re Janet fucking Jackson. Of course, she was said to have converted to Islam after marrying her now soon-to-be-ex-husband, Wissam Al Mana.
Last month, New York Post’s Page Six quoted a source that touched on Al Mana’s influence on Janet’s tour.
“She thought he had become too controlling during the pregnancy, and she had already allowed him to dictate her appearance and even the way she performed at concerts,” the source explained. This also translated to her music videos.
The source added,“It drove her crazy, and she felt she was losing her fan base.”
If you’re still stanning for Janet Jackson, you’re in it for the long haul. That said, while those genie pants she wore didn’t scare us off, if Janet is so inclined to bring that old thing back, please do so on the tour. Even if she doesn’t want to let those breasts back out and back her infamous ass up on someone who is ideally as fine as her old dancer, the legendary Omar Lopez, can we at least get some costume changes?
Like, you’re Janet Jackson.
I have seen Janet Jackson in concert, premarriage to Wissam Al Mana. It was an absolute spectacle. I miss the spectacle. Bring the spectacle back, Damita Jo. Give me all of the costume changes and all of the tricks onstage. Gimme, gimme more, essentially.
And since we’re on things I’d like to see, can we get some deep album cuts? I would love to see her perform “Strawberry Bounce” or the grossly underappreciated “I Want You.” Bring back “Rope Burn” while you’re at it. Hell, what about “My Need”?
As for the apparent new music we’re set to get, can we get that sooner rather than later? Unlike some of her peers, who are chasing waterfalls instead of the sound they’re used to, Janet learned to reunite with Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis.
I love the hits, too, but hard-core Janet Jackson fans would love to have just a bit more. Like, new mama, you started a whole comeback and then tapped out early as it was happening.
Her comeback was more or less putting the tip in. But if you’re back now, Janet, you better fuck this shit up.
We’ve been waiting for so long. Some of us patiently, others with suspicion like, “Oh, sis, she ain’t coming back.” Whatever the case, we’re here now, and I gave you money for floor seats. So, give us all the treats, Miss Jackson. We’ve earned them.