No One Would Let the Government Shutdown in a Pandemic. Republicans: Hold My Ensure

Sen. Patrick Toomey (R-Pa.)
Sen. Patrick Toomey (R-Pa.)
Photo: Drew Angerer (Getty Images)

The government is at the risk of being shut down because, in the eleventh hour, some asshole senator from Fuckstick, Fuckville, has decided that it’s more important to him to screw over President-elect Joe Biden than it is to pass this shitty-ass package into law so that Americans can get some relief.

Sen. Patrick J. Toomey (R-Pa.) wants to stop the Federal Reserve from “reviving emergency lending efforts that expire at year’s end and potentially limit its ability to fight future financial crises, emerged on Friday as perhaps the thorniest point of contention holding up the stimulus agreement. It could take away some of the Fed’s power as a ‘lender of last resort,’ and curtail Mr. Biden’s latitude in dealing with the continuing economic fallout from the pandemic,” the New York Times reports.

I guess Toomey was holding this one close to his chest until Friday so he could drop on everyone in the negations like:

Gif: giphy.com
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It’s clear that the GOP care more about themselves and their interests than they do their constituents. If something is not figured out and quickly, Congress is at risk of letting funding for the government run out. All the while, lawmakers still haven’t settled on this measly-ass economic relief package that will reportedly include $600 relief checks for folks making $75,000 and less and an additional $300 in unemployment pay.

Conscious Congress had hoped that a looming shutdown would pressure members to do right by those who voted for them but they forgot one important thing: Devil Congress, aka Republican Congress, doesn’t give a fuck about the 99 percent of Americans who are struggling in this new, no-contact, masked America.

Congress has until Friday at midnight to approve an extension of federal funding and Sen. Bloated Turkey Neck from Kentucky, Mitch McConnell, believes that a deal can still be reached.

“The talks remain productive. In fact, I am even more optimistic now than I was last night that a bipartisan, bicameral framework for a major rescue package is very close at hand,” McConnell said, the Washington Post reports. “The Senate will be right here until an agreement is passed, whenever that may be.”

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Sen. Josh Hawley (R-Mo.), did not come to play with his Republican friends. He already pitched a proposal on the Senate floor that would’ve provided $1,200 checks to the American people, but Sen. Ron Johnson (R-Wis.), who I believe is American, shot that down with the quickness.

“We will not have learned the lessons from our very hurried, very rushed, very massive earlier relief packages,” Johnson said on the Senate floor, the Post reports. “We’re just going to do more of the same.”

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Hawley made sure to note that he’d be shooting down any stop-gap proposal that didn’t include direct payments to taxpayers.

“We’re getting ready to spend, apparently, another trillion dollars more and yet working people are told they may be last, if they get relief at all,” Hawley said, the Post reports. “Working people are living in their cars, working people can’t go to the doctor, working people can’t pay their rent, working people can’t feed their children. They should be first ... not last.”

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**Devil Congress could be seen looking at each other and mouthing, “Who are these poor people he speaks about?”

**OK, fine whatever. This didn’t happen, but it totally could’ve!

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.

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DISCUSSION

What’s really weird about this is that a stimulus package would help them in Georgia. Mitch moved on it because “Kelly and David are getting hammered in the runoff but Toomey decided that kneecapping Biden’s administration is worth possibly losing those seats. It’s perverse.