NEWS STAND: Virginia Apologies, Smoking on Planes, Tiki Barber Splits, Tax-Free Americans, and more..

Illustration for article titled NEWS STAND: Virginia Apologies, Smoking on Planes, Tiki Barber Splits, Tax-Free Americans, and more..

Southern Discomfort: Virginia Governor Apologizes for Slavery Omission in Confederate History Month Proclamation


Gee, thanks. That takes the sting out of a month commemorating the oppression of black folks. Like the good ol' boy that he is, Republican Gov. Robert F. McDonnell apologized for omitting slavery in his Confederate History Month proclamation. An oversight indeed, but what does one expect from a man that has decided to secure his political future by pandering to hillbillies. Said hillbillies are allegedly pissed that he offered an apology. Like it or not, the experiences of black people are relevant to the confederacy. Gov. McDonnell can keep his apology for a proclamation that falls into the better never than late category. Yes, we meant that.  We know that you're thinking that McDonnell just can't win. Funny, we're thinking he just can't lose.

Smoker Creates Bomb Scare on United Flight

Fresh from the "you've gotta be kidding me," file, a Qatari Diplomat created a bomb scare on United flight 663 from D.C. to Denver by smoking in the lavatory. Smoking hasn't been allowed on flights for at least twenty years, so he must be smoking something else. We would think that flying while brown would be enough of a deterrent to breaking the rules. The best-case scenario is that he got transported back to the early 1980s in a hot tub time machine. The worst-case scenario is that the poor guy had a nicotine craving he just couldn't kick.  One thing we know for sure is that nicotine is one helluva drug (in our best Rick James voice).

A Silver Lining: Half of US Pays No Taxes

One of the benefits of having a low income is being exempt from paying taxes. Reportedly, those making under $50,000 a year can earn enough tax credits and deductions to owe nothing. Almost half of the United States fits into that category. This statistic probably applies to some black folks since more than 16% of us are unemployed. We're glad to hear this because that black tax has been hell on us since President Obama's win. We deserve a deduction or two for all of this hate being thrown our way. Is there a sheer and utter foolishness deduction?


Say it Ain't So: Tiki Barber Dumps Pregnant Wife for Intern


Tiki Barber is leaving his wife, who is 8-months pregnant with twins, for a former NBC intern, known as a 23-year-old, home wrecking white woman in black barbershops and hair salons throughout the country. We don't know what white women are working with, but it is the black athlete's kryptonite. OJ, Kobe, Tiger and now Tiki? Yikes! Not the dude who publicly admonished his father for leaving his family. Now, Tiki is leaving his babies for a baby. Old habits die hard, we guess. Tiki has not only destroyed his family, but his credibility at NBC. In the immortal words of Fred G. Sanford, we respectfully say to Tiki, "You Big Dummy!!!"

Foul on the Play: UCONN Women's NCAA Championship Win Ignored


Have you heard the names Maya Moore, Tina Charles or JJ Hones this week? We haven't either, except on ESPN. They've been mentioned but not lauded in the way that they should for defeating Stanford in the national championship 53-47.

They have one of the winningest teams in basketball history. If 7 NCAA titles, 78 consecutive wins and 4 undefeated seasons is not enough to garner some coverage, then we don't know what is. Vice-President Joe Biden and former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice were cheering courtside. President Obama even called the champions and still scant coverage. We hate to call a foul on the play, but at the Root, we call it like we see it.  For the record, if a male basketball team had those numbers, it would be sheer hysteria, pun intended.