Naija, Please: Omarosa Wants Back In, Confirms Trump Called African Nations ‘Shithole Countries’

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Black God’s most beloved belly flop, Omarosa Manigault Newman, wants back on the Underground Railroad. Ever since being kicked out of her master’s house, where she was receiving a paycheck for being the president’s closest black friend, Omarosa has been revamping herself as a bitter “Spook Who Sat Near the President and Was Totally Fine With That Until She Was Told to Leave.”


On Monday, President Donald Trump greeted Nigerian President Muhammadu Buhari at the White House, and it didn’t take long for a reporter to ask Buhari about remarks the president were reported to have made during a January meeting on immigration legislation.

According to several folks not named Omarosa, Trump reportedly asked during the meeting, “Why do we want all these people from ‘shithole countries’ coming here?”

Buhari responded to the reporter’s question by noting, “I’m not sure ... whether that allegation against the president was true or not,” BBC News reports. “So the best thing for me is to keep quiet.”

Trump didn’t deny that he made the statement but quickly interjected: “The [Nigerian] president knows me and he knows where I’m coming from. And you do have some countries that are in very bad shape and very tough places to live in.”

Now that Omarosa wants back into the cookout, the rent party and the fish fry, she took to Twitter on Monday to confirm that the president did, in fact, call African nations “shithole countries.”


Naija, please.

Omarosa, look at me. I’m your captain now. You is smart. You is kind. You is important. I want better for you, now and ... who am I kidding? I really want you to go wherever it is that Rachel Dolezal is doing hair and sit on her porch and fade into obscurity. I want you to sit inside a Waffle House until the police are called on you. I want you to get a job at a Macy’s perfume counter so that everyone can turn their nose up at you as you try to get people to test-smell your new fragrance, “Humility by Banishment.” In short, I want you to go somewhere like maybe an unused stadium, and then I want you to have several seats. All. The. Seats.


The problem with Omarosa now is that we all knew Omarosa then. So acting as if she’s Wakanda Forever now is just an obvious attempt to get back into our hidden country. Omarosa can just go back to those she sold us out for because, and how can I say this nicely, we, the black delegation, will never fuck with her again.

It was all good just a few years ago when Big O was running around like Spliff Star to the president’s Busta Rhymes. Once Trump got elected, Omarosa was the first one running out here talmbout, “Let me just tell you, Mr. Trump has a long memory and we’re keeping a list.” Well, you know who else has a long memory? The blacks, and we have a long history of folks like you who play both sides and then want to come home when it doesn’t work out.


Welp, Omarosa has no home here.

And let’s get to the heart of what’s really happening here: Omarosa continues to auction bits of herself so that she can sell this tell-all book that she’s supposedly writing because Omarosa has always been about saving Omarosa. She literally walked out of the White House and into the Big Brother house, where she claimed that leaving Trump’s administration was like being “freed off a plantation.”


“I’m thinking of writing a tell-all sometime. He’s going to come after me with everything he has,” she continued, the New York Daily News reports. “Like, I’m going up against a kazillionaire … but I have to tell my truth. I’m tired of being muted … I’ve been defending somebody for so long. Now I’m like, ‘Yo, you are a special kind of fucked up.’”

So maybe there is another marginalized group Omarosa can infiltrate only to backstab in the end, but we’ve watched this movie play out before, and there’s no tweet that can save her or bring her back.



OK, in sheer comedy terms, this might be one of your best columns yet.

Omarosa, look at me. I’m your captain now. 

Also. fuck her. Get to the back of the line with Kanye and Steve Harvey.