Missouri Sen. Josh Hawley Wants Desperately to Be Important

Illustration for article titled Missouri Sen. Josh Hawley Wants Desperately to Be Important
Photo: Greg Nash (Getty Images)

Missouri Sen. Josh Hawley is doing what the kids call clout chasing.

For months now, he’s been trying to earn the president’s approval in the hopes of possibly someday, if the winds and Satan allow, upending South Carolina Sen. Lindsey Graham as Trump’s personal bedwarmer running for president.

So for some time now, Hawley has been one of the most vocal senators pushing the president’s lie that the election was somehow stolen from him. Hawley, 41, the youngest senator, announced last week that he plans to object when Congress counts the Electoral College votes on Wednesday, CNN reports, turning a largely ceremonial procedure into a democracy clusterfuck.

Now, Hawley is claiming that activists vandalized his Northern Virginia home, a claim that protesters vehemently deny, the Washington Post reports.

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And this is all because Hawley wants to be something, anything, more than what he is. Hawley has goals, dreams if you will, political aspirations, and he realized early on which side his bread was to be buttered: the orange side. Trump has created a mafia of sorts out of a group of ragtag thugs who were working independently until he arrived and started talking about loyalty pledges and oaths of allegiance to his office. And that’s when the members of the GOP had two choices: join the Trump train or get run over.

So Hawley made his move and officially asked to see the dining car as he keeps up these fairytales of missing votes and Flintstone-esque Trump-hating voting machinery, and now these horrible tales of protester rage when it sounds like some 15 people gathered in front of his home holding candles and signs.

But that isn’t how Hawley saw it. He claims that he and his family barely survived “leftwing violence.”

“Tonight while I was in Missouri, Antifa scumbags came to our place in DC and threatened my wife and newborn daughter,” he tweeted Monday. “They screamed threats, vandalized, and tried to pound open our door.”

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Yep, you read that correctly, Hawley wasn’t there so he wasn’t able to witness, so he totally sent out his Karen-style tweet by proxy.

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Oh, and this is reportedly the rowdy antifa-scum that caused the ruckus with their sidewalk chalk!

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See, it’s kind of hard to protest when COVID-19 has shut down Congress to the public and people can’t really gather to say that they hate your ass if they don’t know where you’re going to be.

“This was not threatening behavior,” said Patrick Young, a ShutDownDC organizer, which protested in front of Hawley’s home, told the Washington Post. “This is people engaging in democracy and engaging in civil discourse. … This was a pretty tame and peaceful visit to his house.”

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Police responded, sidewalk chalk was holstered and all was fine.

But that hasn’t stopped Hawley from lying about the encounter as he continues to push this narrative of how this rowdy group of banditos came to his home looking to burn it to the ground. Or, in Trump-speak, this Hawley kid is moving up in the GOP world.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.

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DISCUSSION

detroitkidelo
kidelo "drinking shots at Noon, 1/20/2021"

Josh Hawley looks like a limp stalk of white asparagus.

Fight me.