Senate Judiciary Committee Chairman Sen. Chuck Grassley (R-Iwoa) listens to Democratic senators speak during a committee meeting on September 28, 2018 in Washington, DC.
Photo: Chip Somodevilla (Getty Images)

Sen. Chuck Grassley (R-Iowa) is not only a curmudgeonly old man and the chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee, he’s also an asshole. The distinction needs to be made. One can be crotchety and harmless. Grassley, however, is a crotchety, rich, powerful, asshole. He’s literally the walking embodiment of Mr. Burns or Scrooge McDuck.

Turns out that old Grassley had a reason to push so hard for President Trump’s $12 billion bailout for U.S. farmers to help smooth over the rough parts created during the president’s insane trade war. That’s because Grassley, the millionaire senator who happens to own a 750-acre farm in Iowa, wants a farm handout too. And he’s not alone, according to the Washington Post, Sen. Jon Tester (D-Mont.) is applying for payments as well, because, hey, free money.

Grassley issued a statement shortly after the trade war with China noting that the Trump administration had a “responsibility to help” farmers, and by “farmers,” he surely meant himself and Tester, who have a combined estimated net worth of $7 million and substantial second incomes as waiters at Ruby Tuesday fucking United States senators!

We should also remember that Trump created this problem by starting a trade war with China and then used bailout money to offset the problem he created. Bailout money isn’t being used to help any other industry except farmers, and the Agriculture Department confirmed last week it has already sent more than 7,800 bailout checks totaling $25 million. Farming was listed as the top job of who attend Trump rallies, according to a Family Feud survey.

U.S. Sen. Jon Tester (D-MT) listens to Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin at a Senate Banking Committee and International Policy hearing on Capital Hill May 18, 2017 in Washington, DC. Mnuchin spoke before the committee that oversees bank regulations in his first congressional testimony since being named as Treasury secretary.
Photo: Tasos Katopodis (Getty Images)

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While no one knows how much Grassley and Tester will receive in white welfare, because they are both technically farmers, you can be sure they will take as much money as they are offered.

“Sen. Grassley participates in farm programs for which he is legally eligible, including this program, like every other farmer,” his spokesman Michael Zona told the Post.

HuffPost notes that “The typical farmer, however, does not impact Trump administration policies the way senators can.”

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Side note: Chuck Grassley is the consummate farmer. Hell, his name even says farming. Chuck Grassley. It kind of spells it out, doesn’t it? It’s like if my name was “Author WritingFace.”

And therein lies the issues with millionaire white welfare queens. The spirit of this issue doesn’t apply to them. They aren’t your everyday farmer trying to make ends meet. In fact Grassley’s net worth was listed in 2015 as $3.3 million, and Tester’s was $3.9 million that year, according to the Center for Responsive Politics.

But a spokesperson for Tester actually argued that he’s been hit hard since the tariffs were enacted.

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“Like most Montana farmers, [Tester] is feeling the impacts of the escalating trade war,” the spokesperson told the Post.

“Grassley has received nearly $390,000 in farm subsidies in 21 years through 2016, according to records tracked by EWG. Tester has collected $217,000 in farm subsidies during that time, according to the organization,” HuffPost notes.

Twelve members who are eligible to apply for the bailout told the Post that they will not apply for the funds. It’s unknown whether several other members who are eligible will apply.

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Don’t make that face, Grassley and Tester need this money to put food on the table, the millions that they already have can barely keeping the lights on in the evil villain wings of their mansions.