We can all agree that giving children guidance, teaching them right from wrong and allowing them to face consequences when they stray from that guidance is part of a parent’s job description. But a conversation about what those consequences should be is where people are often divided – even when they’re talking to themselves.
In a conversation with actors, comedians and brothers Damon and Marlon Wayans on a recent episode of her “IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson” podcast, former First Lady Michelle Obama opened up about how her parenting style evolved as her now-adult daughters Malia and Sasha grew up. And she shared an important change she made to how she disciplined them. Spoiler alert: she didn’t always spare the rod.
Mrs. Obama admitted that she did spank her girls when they misbehaved, but decided to stop after a couple of times because she felt “silly.”
“I felt like, you know, this is a little kid, and the fact that I can’t think of any better way to get my point across than to smack somebody on the butt, I felt embarrassed,” she said.
Marlon Wayans agreed adding that spanking his kids hurt him more than it hurt them.
“Yeah, it really hurts. Like it hurt me. But I hit my kids one time and I cried like a baby. I was like, I can’t do that to them,” he said.
Our Forever First Lady said she tried to teach her girls techniques to solve conflicts on their own instead, warning them that if she had to get involved, she wasn’t going to be bothered trying to figure out who was in the wrong.
“What I would say is that if I have to get in it, everybody’s in trouble, you know, that’s all I can do because I don’t want to play favorites. I’m not sure who’s telling the truth. And so if I’m involved, I don’t care what happened, everybody’s play is shut down, doors closed, computers off, it’s over,” she said.
The “Becoming” author said she did her best to teach good judgement as her daughters grew up, hoping it would prepare them to become independent adults.
“I raised y’all to have some sense, to have judgment. And at some point you’ve got to practice that, which means that I’ve got let go,” she said.
But while she ultimately chose a different path than her parents did to discipline her kids, Mrs. Obama maintains that she knows she was loved.
“We all got disciplined, you know,” she said. “But none of that stopped us from loving our parents and revering them.”