Men and Birth Control: Guess You're Not as Tough as You Think; Can't Handle a Little PMS?

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Oftentimes you hear people tell others to "grow some balls" when they're trying to encourage them to do something and not be fearful about it. Well, right now I'm going to tell men to "grow some ovaries" when it comes to whining about the side effects of birth control.


If you haven't heard, some men involved in a male birth control study dropped out because they couldn't take dealing with the symptoms the shot gave them. Never mind the fact that the Journal of Clinical Endocrinology & Metabolism found only four pregnancies resulted among 266 men who used the contraceptive. So it's safe to say that the shot was effective. Never mind the fact that there are a lot of men out there who don't want to support the children they're making, and a birth control shot could help them out in the long run. But because of a few men and their symptoms, the study stopped accepting participants.

So what were these symptoms?

Did their penises get smaller? Nope.

Did their testicles shrivel to the size of raisins? Nope.

Did they grow another set of man boobs? Nope.

Did the pitch of their voices rise an octave or two? Nope.

The common side effects these men in the study experienced were simply emotional disorders and acne. Yes, you read that correctly. These crying ass babies tough-as-nails men couldn't handle what amounted to a little premenstrual syndrome and breakouts.

You know what's really tough? Being a woman and dealing with PMS for the vast majority of one's life. There are girls out here who get their periods before their teens and have to deal with PMS well into their 40s or even 50s. But here we have 20 men who participated in a study and couldn't take it for, what? Two years or so? Ain't that some mess.

Right now I can name about three forms of birth control I've tried over the last couple of years. And I can also name about five different side effects that occurred while I was taking them. Getting a little more emotional would have been a welcoming experience, besides the weight gain, headaches and nausea.

Men, some of you complain that women are trapping you guys with unplanned pregnancies. You make statements like, "Well, she said she was on birth control.” And some of you complain about all that child support you end up having to pay. I'm thinking a little bit of acne and some mood swings won't hurt you one bit. Here's your chance to make a difference by “womaning” up and taking control of your own sperm.