After years of being left out of the Marvel Universe as the arch-nemesis to everything black, including Colin Kaepernick, Eric Holder, Barack Obama, the NAACP and—no, I’m not kidding—love, Bill Owens, the infamous negro pastor and possessor of the homophobic Infinity Stone, finally got his day in the sun when he was invited to the White House to play the role of a prop in Donald Trump’s futile attempts to prove he’s not racist.
Amid his ongoing series of unhinged, intermittent rants against Rep. Elijah Cummings (D-Md.), the “Squad,” Al Sharpton and anyone who doesn’t need to “lay out” to get a little color in their skin, Donald Trump invited Owens and a handful of other churchless pastors to the White House on Monday for a photo-op that he will probably use as mugshots when he finally decides to send his detractors back to the “rat-infested” “shithole countries” that they came from.
Twenty members of the faith community gathered in the Oval Office to meet with President Donald Trump on Monday, according to one of the participants. Rev. Bill Owens, the controversial founder of a conservative religious organization, said the President did “more talking than listening” during the event, which was long-scheduled but came after Trump disparaged a top African American lawmaker over the weekend.
Trump tweeted ahead of the meeting that he was “looking forward to” a meeting “with wonderful Inner City Pastors!” The meeting was not open to press but afterward several of the attendees answered a few questions.
“Two hours of discussion, that’s not a photo-op,” Owens said defending the length and substance of the meeting. He said the leaders discussed “the issues facing the black community, and there are many.”
If you have no idea who Rev. William “Bill” Owens Sr. is, do not be ashamed. While the 80-year-old right-wing preacher claims that he marched with Martin Luther King Jr. as a civil rights leader in Nashville, Tenn., no one, including Nashville historians, organizers and archivists can find any evidence that he ever did so. He is a staunch conservative who denigrated Barack Obama, fought with the NAACP and, most importantly, fought against the growing scourge of people marrying whomever they want.
But a few years ago, as he was preaching the doctrine of “Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve” with anti-gay conservative organizations like the Family Research Council and the National Organization of Marriage, Owens started using a tactic often employed by these groups. He simply created an organization with an official-sounding name—in this case, the Coalition of African American Pastors (CAAP)—built a website and started issuing press releases as if he represented an actual section of the black religious population. Since then, CAAP has called for former Attorney General Eric Holder’s impeachment for supporting marriage equality and has asked Nike to sever ties with Colin Kaepernick who it says “has become synonymous with radical anti-American sentiment.”
Curiously, the CAAP never lists its members or takes group photos. Owens has been lobbying for an invitation to the White House for years, to no avail, after comparing Barack Obama’s support for same-sex marriage to supporting child molestation. Although he claims to have secretly counseled Trump four or five times at the White House, Owens insisted that the public visit was not a response to the feud with Cummings. Explaining that it was “hard to believe” that Trump was racist because he has done so much for the African American, Owens almost broke down in tears lauding the white nationalist-in-chief.
“He wanted to know from us what should he do in America,” explained Owens as the taste of Trump’s boots marinated on his tongue. “He’s right sometimes. He’s never given credit for doing anything.”
After the press conference that the press wasn’t allowed to attend, Trump dispatched his league of pulpit-less preachers to explain why Trump wasn’t racist. Apparently, they were instructed to make three points:
- Black unemployment: While it has dropped from 7.8 percent to 6 percent during Trump’s presidency, none of them mentioned that black unemployment fell from 16.8 percent to 7.8 percent under Obama.
- Criminal justice reform: The groundbreaking First Step Act has freed more than 3,100 prisoners, 91 percent of whom were black according to a U.S. Sentencing Commission report. Of course, the reforms that freed those prisoners were forced into the bill by Democrats.
- Jesus likes Trump: Because he’s stopping the baby-killing and the communism.
Owens appeared on CNN with Don Lemon last night and explained that Trump isn’t racist because he attacks everyone, not just black people, explaining: “I don’t remember him saying anything about colored leaders, leaders that are colored.”
The rest of Thomas’s nieces and nephews continued their missionary work on Tuesday morning when Martin Luther King Jr.’s niece, Alveda King, appeared on Fox & Friends.
“He’s not a racist,” declared King as her uncle rolled over in his grave. “Absolutely is not, and the programs he has moved forward, the higher job market is helping African Americans, the criminal justice reform is helping African Americans. What the president’s simply saying is your communities need to be fixed and he said to Representative Cummings, Elijah Cummings, who actually said either abort the babies now or you’ll kill them later. He says things like that and then you look at his community and you see individuals suffering, communities suffering, and families suffering.”
King, Owens and the negro Trumpians are not meant to be apostles for the MAGA messiah. Instead of apologizing for the president’s racism, they have offered themselves as a living sacrifice for Trump’s minions to justify their racism and paint themselves as truth-tellers, conservatives and patriots. If there is one thing Trump’s “faith leaders” and followers all have in common, it’s that they all believe they serve someone who omnipotent and infallible.
And there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved. — Acts 4:12
Trump is good, all the time.
And all the time...