Lindsey Graham Finally Understands Righteous America’s True Feelings About Him: ‘They Hate My Guts’

Illustration for article titled Lindsey Graham Finally Understands Righteous America’s True Feelings About Him: ‘They Hate My Guts’
Photo: Andrew Harnik (Getty Images)

For years, all of us, the collective us that hate everything that Trump’s spray-tanned fingers have touched, have been telling everyone that would listen that Lindsey Graham was the trashiest trash can that ever trashed. Oscar the Grouch literally lives in a trashcan and even he told the Trash Times, (the paper of record for people who live in trash cans,) that he’d seen Graham at the Garbage Grocery (the garbage equivalent of Whole Foods) and he didn’t speak to him because trashy.


Well, it looks like the South Carolina senator has finally got the message that we hate his ass and not a disappointed hate, like the hate I feel whenever Charles Barkley or Shaq talk about how much they love the police, but actual unfiltered hate.

During an appearance on Republican PornHub aka Fox News Thursday, Graham cried that he was “getting killed financially” by his Democratic opponent Jamie Harrison.

“My opponent will raise $100 million in the state of South Carolina,” Graham said, the Hill reports. “The most money ever spent in the history of the state on a Senate race in this state was by me in 2014 when I spent $13 million.”

“I’m being killed financially. This money is because they hate my guts.”

Looks like Graham has taken a page out of Trump’s book and went on TV and just straight lied to drum up support, either that or someone is doing bad maths.

From the Hill:

It wasn’t immediately clear what figure Graham was referring to, given that Harrison has raised just over $28 million as of the last Federal Election Commission filings in June, compared to Graham’s $29 million.

Graham held a cash advantage over Harrison at the end of June, with the Republican reporting $15 million in cash reserves compared to Harrison’s $10.2 million.


Graham claimed that after the death of Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Harrison raised $6 million in the 72 hours. If these numbers are true it might be because Trump’s favorite human sock straight fucking lied about waiting until the end of an election year before voting for a new Supreme Court judge. But you can’t shame the shameless. As my *grandfather once said, “there is nothing you can say to embarrass a nigga wearing a lime green fedora.” But you can vote his ass out of office.

Harrison is still fighting an uphill battle as he’s trying to become a senator in a state that has South in the title.


So while we don’t endorse people at The Root, if you accidentally clicked this link and that link just so happened to take you to Harrison’s donation page and you just happened to have a couple of dollars laying around and you wanted to send those dollars to said link then that is on you, because The Root doesn’t get into politics like that. You are free to do whatever you like.

This is still America, isn’t it?

*My grandfather never said this.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.


Mr Boomman

*clears throat

Sir, you don’t even have any guts, let alone testicles...and you’re spineless.

I will now yield to anyone else who would like to provide you much needed criticism and disdain.