Joe Biden and the Lie of the Great Stimulus Check

Have you heard the story of President Joe Biden and the Great Stimulus Check?

It goes like this: when President-elect Joe Biden wanted to push for two Georgia senators facing a difficult runoff election that would ensure that Biden would be backed by a Democrat-controlled Senate, he told America that they’d be getting $2,000 stimulus checks.

Oh, he bragged about it. In fact, both Jon Ossoff and Rev. Raphael Warnock, the two men engaged in a battle for Democrat supremacy, ran on it.

Here’s Biden tweeting about it:

Here’s a Warnock campaign ad:

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Here’s a mashup of all of the men rapping $2,000 stimulus checks like a modern-day Wu-Tang Clan:

But not once did any of these politicians explain that the $2,000 checks would be piggybacking off of a stimulus plan passed in December that sent Americans a raggedy-ass $600. Why would anyone reasonably assume that what Biden was referring to was an extension of a bill that was already passed? Why would anyone think that an incoming president would be promising money from a past president’s bill? Why would any reasonable person assume that after all of this shouting about $2,000, that what he really meant was $1,400 because that is what the promise of the stimulus check has become? And we can argue in the comments (no, I really argued with readers in the comments and they were relentless and handed me my ass) about whether we are all playing semantics over the wording of the president’s proposal but then came Wednesday.

Biden—after meeting Monday with 10 Republicans, who only want to give money, tax breaks, and incentives to their wealthy friends, proposed the idea of targeting the checks to those who “really” need it—is now actually considering this bullshit. On Wednesday, Biden reportedly “discussed the possibility of narrowing eligibility for the stimulus payments in his coronavirus relief package during a meeting at the White House on Wednesday with Delaware’s two U.S. senators, according to an account by the senators,” the Washington Post reports.

“We did have a conversation about the direct payments and how those might be modified in a way to ensure they’re targeted,” Sen. Christopher A. Coons (D) told reporters. But, he said, Biden is “not going to forget the middle class.”

“The White House has signaled an openness to narrowing eligibility for the stimulus payments but not lowering those payments below $1,400 per person,” the Post notes.

And just like that, the promise of Biden picking us this weekend has turned into us sitting outside waiting for a car that ain’t coming. Mama knew this when she dressed us in warm clothes to wait on the porch in the cool morning air, knowing that this nigga wasn’t going to show up. And just like that Biden proved that he’s a politician still trying to work with insurrectionists.

Also, how the fuck do you work with Congress members who still act as if the violent failed coup that had New York Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez scrambling for her life while wondering if she would live long enough to become a mom, was akin to a frat party gone awry? The one thing Congress should all be able to agree on is that the worst president to ever be president should never be president again and they can’t even agree on that, and this is who Biden wants to work with.

Man, fuck them.

But here we are, looking to narrow the eligibility of stimulus payments because some folks with money might get checks. What these politicians don’t seem to understand is that during this pandemic there are only two kinds of people: those with money who don’t want to spend frivolously because they don’t know what might happen, and those who don’t have shit. Either way, giving money to both of these folks helps the economy because both will spend; one because they have to and the other because they can.

Coons told the Post that Biden is “relentlessly focused on delivering the relief that Americans need” and said it would come in “weeks, not months.”

At this point, I will believe it when I see it, but I’m getting tired of hearing about all the ways that the President Biden is considering working with Republicans who didn’t give a fuck about us when they had power.

I’m realizing that I don’t want more harmonious America, I want revenge. I know this isn’t healthy, but the Lord ain’t done with me yet.

Meanwhile, take a look at live footage of the actual disbursement of stimulus funds: