We all saw this coming.
You can’t put Michelle Obama on a speaking stage and not expect her to come in and shut shit down. It’s what she does. I don’t care if I’m waiting in the wings to speak and I’m literally about to deliver Martin Luther King Jr.’s “I Have a Dream” speech to an audience full of people who have never heard it or even heard of it, if the coordinator of the event comes up to me and says “the former first lady is going to say a few words before you come on,” I’m going to rip that speech up and walk out.
If Michelle Obama was in a studio session with Drake and all she said was “Turn his mic up a little bit,” Drake wouldn’t be able to finish his rap because he could just sample Mrs. O (her rap name) for 12 tracks because that’s how hard she’s spitting.
In fact, I just got off the phone with Dylan and he lists his top favorite speakers from Day 1 of the Democratic National Convention as:
- Michelle Obama
- Michelle Obama
- Michelle Obama
Seriously, what did you expect? The woman is the better half (Barack’s words, not mine) of the most glorious presidency to ever do it, and they have basically become the couple who broke up with America and are doing so much better without us. But the worst part is they are the couple who still wants to see us happy even though they don’t want to be with us anymore.
Goddamn, I want Michelle Obama to be my president. Fuck!
Wearing a beautiful brown top and with her hair on “You wish you could,” Mrs. Obama came through and reminded us of who we used to be. She literally wanted us to kick off that depression blanket and get back into those party jeans and act like we know who we are!
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“Donald Trump is the wrong president for our country,” Michelle Obama said. “He has had more than enough time to prove that he can do the job, but he is clearly in over his head. He cannot meet this moment,” the Washington Post reports.
“He simply cannot be who we need him to be for us,” she continued, and then sighed: “It is what it is.”
Did you feel the room get colder? Oh, that might have been all of the shade Mrs. Obama was throwing last night. She literally took Trump’s diss to the growing number of coronavirus deaths and flipped it on him and his administration.
And just like that, we lost the “when they go low, we go high” Michelle Obama and gained the “two glasses of wine” auntie who is not here to play with you and your little friends. America is in dire need of some truth-telling. “You’ve put on weight, America. And your wig looks like a goddamn hornets’ nest. Fix yourself up and get that glitter off your face!”
Being the introspective, thought leader that she is, even Mrs. Obama knew that America would have a hard time handling her growth so she explained it as such before dropping that shady line:
“Going high is the only thing that works,” she insisted. “But let’s be clear: Going high does not mean putting on a smile and saying nice things when confronted by viciousness and cruelty. Going high means taking the harder path. It means scraping and clawing our way to that mountain top.”
It was a brilliant night for Mrs. Obama and the rest of the people were just the non-Jerry Lewis portion of the telethon in which they didn’t flub the night but they just weren’t Michelle Obama, and that’s OK, none of us are.
The entire evening could be classified as the run of the rising stars of the Democratic Party as Sens. Raumesh Akbari of Tennessee, Yvanna Cancela of Nevada, Marlon Kimpson of South Carolina and Pennsylvania state Rep. Malcolm Kenyatta, are all slated to speak. 2018 Georgia gubernatorial candidate Stacey Abrams, the darling of the Democratic Party, will give the keynote address on Tuesday. The idea for Tuesday’s lineup is to allow the up-and-coming next generation of leaders to give their rendition of where America is headed and how they plan on helping America get there. It’s a visionary platform for the on-deck crew.
From USA Today:
Other keynote speakers include state Reps. Mari Manoogian of Michigan, Victoria Neave of Texas, Sam Park of Georgia and Denny Ruprecht of New Hampshire. Mayors Randall Woodfin of Birmingham, Alabama, and Robert Garcia of Long Beach, California, will also get a turn, along with former Ohio state Rep. Kathleen Clyde, Florida Agriculture Commissioner Nikki Fried and Navajo Nation President Jonathan Nez.
To give you an idea of how important Tuesday’s speeches can be, in 2004 a young junior senator from Chicago spoke on this day and wowed America with his rousing tenor and inspirational vision. That man would later become known to the world as Michelle Obama’s husband.
Tuesday won’t just be a day filled with relative newcomers as the heavy hitters are also slated to speak. The evening will be an all-out Trump-bashing from the former acting Attorney General Sally Yates to former President Bill Clinton. John Kerry, “the 2004 Democratic nominee and former secretary of state, will speak along with Clinton,” USA Today reports.
Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer of New York, who will be speaking virtually and not because of the coronavirus, but because he’s currently got one foot on Trump’s neck, will also be speaking.
You can watch it all here, starting at 9 p.m. Tuesday:
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