While all T-Pain does is “win, win, win, no matter what,” on the other end of the spectrum we have former UFC champion Tyron Woodley; who’s collecting Ls at such a fervent pace that Pat Sajak keeps imploring him to buy a vowel.
Woodley’s UFC losing streak extends to before wearing masks to grocery shop was a thing and currently sits at four, which includes an embarrassing first-round submission mere months ago at the hands of “The Silent Assassin,” Vicente Luque. So perhaps eager to break his stranglehold on public embarrassment, Woodley took the bait and accepted an Aug. 29 bout with Floyd Mayweather’s archnemesis, Jake Paul.
In assessing the bloodbath to come, common sense tells us that a seasoned, professional fighter should make short work of a seasoned, professional idiot. But to my personal shock and awe, it would appear that just about anyone with a pulse believes that this white boy is about to give our ancestors’ wildest dream the business.
This does not bode well for the Black Delegation.
Even UFC legend Daniel Cormier, who Paul once threatened to “beat the fuck out of,” is hedging his bets.
“Tyron Woodley is supposed to beat this kid,” Cormier said on DC & Helwani in June. “It would make people so happy to watch T-Wood knock this kid out or drag him into a point where the kid starts to fatigue, and then you just kind of beat on him and break him. But if he doesn’t take this serious, this kid is going to find a way to win the fight and it will be the worst thing imaginable.”
That’s not exactly a glowing endorsement.
Mike Tyson, who himself has indulged in this resurgence of celebrity boxing when he took on Roy Jones Jr. in November, has his money on Paul emerging triumphant.
“I’m proud of them,” he said on his Hotboxin’ with Mike Tyson podcast. “Paul’s a real good striker, and I think people do him a disservice when they go in there and say, ‘He’s blonde-haired and blue-eyed, he’s a white bitch’, and I think that also builds their courage up and causes them to get knocked out. Jake’s gonna beat him. Woodley’s not a puncher like that, that’s why he wants to fight this guy, to get his last payday probably.”
There’s also Bellator star Gegard Mousasi, who’s more than eager to offer his own opinion on the upcoming exhibition boxing match. Does he think Woodley stands a chance?
“To be honest, no,” Mousasi told MMA Fighting with a laugh. “You know, Tyron Woodley is 40, he has lost all of his [recent] fights. They chose him because he’s a short guy, he’s not a boxer. I don’t know why people think he can box. Who said Tyron Woodley is a boxer?”
He added, “He has one right hand with a small glove. 100 percent, it’s not going to go well for him. But it’s going to make money and I wish him well, and I don’t have anything against Tyron Woodley. But let’s be honest, they didn’t choose him because he’s going [win]. Jake Paul chose him because he thinks he’s beatable.”
Clearly, both Jake and his brother Logan have been...strategic about who they decide to step into the ring with. And while Logan was lauded for being brave enough to go to war with who many consider the greatest pound-for-pound boxer of all time in Floyd Mayweather, the five-time world champion was also well past his prime at 44 years old and had a significant height and weight disadvantage—he was roughly six inches shorter and 35 pounds lighter—against the much larger Logan.
All I know is if Jake beats this man’s ass on Aug. 29, Woodley might not be able to ever show his face in the barbershop, the cookout, or any parent-teacher conference meeting ever again. But if you’re curious to see how this all plays out, you can slide over to Showtime’s website for more info on how you can watch the two throw hands.