How Special Counsel Robert Mueller Threw the Alley-Oop That Led to America Getting Dunked On

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Photo: Chip Somodevilla (Getty Images)

Special Counsel Robert Mueller was at a briefing with the Justice Department when he revealed something that no one on his team, no one overseeing his work, no one, literally, no one saw coming. That after two years of investigating whether there had been collusion by Trump’s campaign with Russia to help steal the 2016 presidential election, Mueller wouldn’t be offering his conclusion on whether Trump sought to obstruct justice.


With two years worth of an investigation into Trump’s affairs, and all of America waiting for his findings, Mueller punted back to a Justice Department that is filled with Trump guys.

In short: Mueller fucked us.

From The Washington Post:

The decision — which a Justice Department official on Monday said the special counsel’s office came to “entirely” on its own — left a gap ripe for political exploitation.

After accepting Mueller’s report, Attorney General William P. Barr and Deputy Attorney General Rod J. Rosenstein, who were among those briefed March 5, made the call Mueller would not, determining that the evidence was insufficient to allege that Trump had obstructed justice. The decisive maneuver, outlined in a letter Barr sent to lawmakers this week, sparked allegations that the two Trump appointees had rushed to a judgment no one asked them to make, and it is likely to be a key battleground in the intensifying political fight over the conclusion of Mueller’s work.

A day after Barr revealed Mueller’s principal conclusions — namely, that the special counsel did not establish any coordination between Trump and Russia on election interference, and found a mixed bag on the question of obstruction — Democrats attacked the attorney general and issued an April 2 deadline for him to turn over a copy of the report, while Republicans said Trump should be given an apology.

Why wouldn’t Mueller offer his recommendation? Why wouldn’t he come to a conclusion on his own investigation? Why would he act like the playing field is level when he and the rest of America knows that Trump fired Attorney General Jeff Session for recusing himself from the Russia investigation and then appointed a guy who is not only a Trump fan, but a dead ringer for Fred Flintstone?

Seriously. Look:

Image for article titled How Special Counsel Robert Mueller Threw the Alley-Oop That Led to America Getting Dunked On
Photo: Win McNamee (Getty Images)

Now, Democrats are fighting to get their hands on the full report, and who knows if the actual report found that Trump has a secret lair in Russia or if the back door of the White House is the formal Russian entrance since the findings were interpreted by Mr. Flintstone and the man Trump reportedly called Mr. Peepers, Deputy Attorney General Rod J. Rosenstein. And now The Tortoise is protecting The Hair, as Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell blocked a push to make Mueller’s report public.

The White House reportedly hasn’t seen the document, and they don’t need to as they heard all they wanted to hear. Trump has been exonerated, even if he hasn’t been, and the worst part is, we may never know. And now we have to listen as Trump trounce his heavy ass up and down America’s back. He’s even kicking the idea around that the investigation into his obvious collusion with Russia should be investigated.


“They’ve done so many evil things,” the president said, without specifying whom he believed should be investigated, The Post reports. “It was a false narrative, it was a terrible thing. We can never let this happen to another president again. I can tell you that. I say it very strongly. Very few people I know could have handled it. We can never ever let this happen to another president again.”

Trump as victim; that’s what we are going to have to deal with for another 600 or so days. Trump as a Phoenix that rose from the ashes of fake news; that’s the narrative he’s going to spin at his rallies and white nationalist bake sales. Trump as hero; that’s the message he’s going to send when he continues to paint the story of his fortitude during this investigation.


It would have been nice if Mueller just said flatly whether or not the president obstructed justice, but instead he lobed a high arching pass that allowed Trump to dunk on all of us.



There is speculation that Mueller was being vague purposefully because there IS enough proof to charge him with obstruction, but current laws will not allow a sitting president to be indicted.

In theory this would leave the door open for prosecution when he is no longer in office (or after the lower NY courts get done with him)