Television personality “Snooki” (right) with husband Jionni LaValle at the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards at the Barclays Center on Aug. 25, 2013, in the Brooklyn borough of New York City
Photo: Larry Busacca (Getty Images)

One would assume that losing the presidential election to the human equivalent of a tall white kitchen trash bag tinted orange from day-old grease would be the furthest from grace that Hillary Clinton could fall.

Well, one would be wrong. According to a report at NJ.com, Clinton, who once commanded speaking fees of up to $200,000, was recently paid less than reality-TV star Nicole Elizabeth LaValle, aka “Snooki” of Jersey Shore fame, to speak at Rutgers University.

Clinton was paid $25,000 for a speech about “politics, American democracy and her role in shaping women’s political history.” Admittedly, it sounds like a snoozer of a speech.

This seems like a marketing issue in Clinton’s camp. I don’t think Clinton has lost her appeal; I just think she needs to look at really selling her speeches. Here are a few topic suggestions that might help get Clinton back on the money train:

  • “Betrayal: How 53 Percent of America’s White Women Turned on Me!”
  • “America: I Hate Your Face!”
  • “How to Royally Fuck Up an Election”; or
  • “Pantsuits: Not Only for Debates”

Clinton definitely needs to look into jazzing it up a bit, considering that Snooki’s tagline for her $32,000 speech—$7,000 more than Clinton received for her speech at the same university—was “Study Hard, but Party Harder.”

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Granted, Snooki wasn’t paid to give a political speech, nor was she paid out of the same budget Clinton was paid from, but still, this feels like a sad day in this new America.