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On Tuesday, Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House, which is reportedly the most intimate look at the president’s first year in office, is set to be released next week, and neither Donald Trump nor his lawyers are happy about it.

In fact, Trump’s lawyers are fixing to prevent the book’s release entirely. The Washington Post published the letter Trump’s counsel sent to the book’s author, Michael Wolff. If you don’t feel like reading all 11 pages, here’s the gist:

Immediately cease and desist from any further publication, release or dissemination of the book.

The law firm also claims that Wolff made “numerous false and/or baseless statements” about Trump, and the lawyers are considering pursuing libel charges.

Thankfully for those of us who can’t get enough of any reports bashing this Cleveland Browns-ass administration, several news outlets have already received advance copies of the book. Here are some of the most scathing portions that Trump probably doesn’t want the public to read. According to BBC News:

  • The Trump team was shocked and horrified by his election win.
  • His wife, Melania, shed tears of sadness on election night.
  • Trump was angry that A-list stars snubbed his inauguration.
  • The new president “found the White House to be vexing and even a little scary.”
  • His daughter Ivanka had a plan with her husband, Jared Kushner, to be “the first woman president.”
  • Ivanka mocked her dad’s “comb-over” hairstyle and “often described the mechanics behind it to friends.”

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And then there are the earlier reports of Steve Bannon’s jabs at longtime foe Kushner that spilled into a West Virginia-style backyard wrestling brawl between the knight of the “alt-right” and President Shoofly von FuckYourself.

On Thursday, Bannon bowed down to the president on his Breitbart radio show, in which he called Trump a “great man” and added that he still supported him. Trump being Trump, of course, pointed out during a Q&A session with the media that he made Bannon bend the knee, and added that he doesn’t talk to him.

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Since the fallout from the book, BBC News notes that Trump has banned cellphones from the West Wing, citing security concerns, which is bullshit—Trump doesn’t want anyone videotaping him beating a puppy to death after being exposed.

In the hood, when you lose a fight, you run and get an older brother or a cousin to fight for you. Trump is doing the alt-right equivalent of this by calling his lawyers to come fight for him, which basically means that he lost this first round.

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I can’t wait to read this book!