“Because of the system that we were in and the responsibilities and the duties that we had, we had a quick cuddle. And then we had to get changed and jump in a convoy with a police escort and drive to the Royal Albert Hall for a charity event and then step out into a wall of cameras and pretend as though everything is okay,” he also recalled. “There wasn’t an option to say, ‘you know what, tonight, we’re not going to go’. Because just imagine the stories that come from that.

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“While my wife and I were in those chairs gripping each other’s hand, the moment the lights go down, Meghan starts crying. I’m feeling sorry for her but I’m also really angry with myself that we’re stuck in this situation,” he continued, echoing Meghan’s own recounting of the evening to Oprah. “I was ashamed that it got this bad, I was ashamed to go to my family because to be honest with you, like a lot of other people my age can probably relate to, I know I’m not going to get from my family what I need.”

That frustration reportedly resurfaced as the couple prepared for their sit-down with Oprah. In the days preceding the interview’s airing, resurfaced allegations of “bullying” were leveled against Meghan by former royal aides and seemingly supported by Buckingham Palace as it announced an investigation into the claims.

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“The Duchess is saddened by this latest attack on her character, particularly as someone who has been the target of bullying herself and is deeply committed to supporting those who have experienced pain and trauma...She is determined to continue her work building compassion around the world and will keep striving to set an example for doing what is right and doing what is good,” read the official statement from the Sussexes’ spokesperson at the time, but as Harry now discloses, the “combined effort of ‘The Firm’ and the media to smear her” took another toll on Meghan.

“I was woken up in the middle of the night to her crying in her pillow because she doesn’t want to wake me up, because I’m already carrying too much,” he recalled, according to People. “That’s heartbreaking. I held her, we talked, she cried, and she cried, and she cried.”

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The incident both gives credence to the couple’s departure from royal life and the impact of getting support to deal with mental health issues. Harry entered therapy soon after the two started dating, now admitting that “it was meeting and being with Meghan; I knew that if I didn’t do therapy and fix myself, that I was going to lose this woman who I could see spending the rest of my life with.”

The two celebrated their third anniversary last week and are expecting their second child this summer, but Harry now shares: “There was a lot of learning right at the beginning of our relationship. She was shocked to be coming backstage of the institution; of the British royal family,” he continued (h/t People). “When she said, ‘I think you need to see someone,’ that was in reaction to an argument we had. And in that argument, not knowing about it, I reverted back to 12-year-old Harry.” Notably, Princess Diana died less than a month before 13th birthday.

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“That was the start of a learning journey for me,” he added. “I became aware that I’d been living in a bubble, within this family, within this institution, I was sort of almost trapped in a thought process or a mindset.”

Engaging in therapy reportedly taught Harry “one of the biggest lessons” of his life, as he finally processed his buried feelings about his mother’s tragic death.

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“You’ve sometimes got to go back and to deal with really uncomfortable situations and to be able to process it in order to be able to heal. For me, therapy has equipped me to be able to take on anything. That’s why I’m here now. That’s why my wife is here now.”

“We chose to put our mental health first. That’s what we’re doing. And that’s what we will continue to do,” he later added.