As has been widely reported, cities like New York City and San Francisco have imposed local coronavirus guidelines that require anyone over the age of 12 to provide proof of vaccination prior to entering arenas, gyms, restaurants, and other indoor venues. This also applies to professional athletes, which means that players for the Golden State Warriors, New York Knicks, and Brooklyn Nets are left with two options:
1. Get vaccinated and enjoy a premium benefits package that includes heightened immunity against the virus, reduced likelihood of hospitalizations, and the peace of mind in knowing that you’re doing your part to curb the spread of a pandemic that has taken the lives of over 700,000 Americans and impacted millions of others.
2. Don’t get vaccinated and piss off your teammates, coaches, front office, and the league itself because you’re prohibited from playing in any home games (that’s half your NBA regular season) and coincidentally, will not be paid for any games you miss under those circumstances.
When faced with this decision, Warriors forward Andrew Wiggins initially chose the later for some inexplicable reason.
“To each his own, really,” he said once upon a time. “Right now, I’m not getting it, but it’s no knock on anyone else that’s getting it. I make my own decisions. But right now, I decided not to get it.”
Did he take great joy in potentially coughing up half his annual salary? Did he have some insidious ploy to crash NBA commissioner Adam Silver’s Thanksgiving dinner just to give his entire family the ‘Rona? Did he have aspirations to get on Ted Cruz’s good side? Was it his mission in life to sabotage Golden State’s upcoming season?
I don’t know what the fuck his malfunction was but thankfully, on Sunday a miracle happened.
“Andrew got vaccinated,” Warriors head coach Kerr revealed to ESPN. “He just told me today that he was fine with us acknowledging it and that will be the end of it.”
And now all is right in the world.
In other news, superstar guard Kyrie Irving still has yet to get the jab and it’s about to cost his ass a cool $381,000 per home game. But good luck with that championship this season, Brooklyn! Just don’t bother making a playoff push since Kyrie won’t be able to play in those home games then either!