GTFOH Trump Watch: Trump Released the Kraken. Turns Out the Kraken Was Sidney Powell

Sidney Powell, aka the Kraken.
Sidney Powell, aka the Kraken.
Photo: MANDEL NGAN (Getty Images)

Imagine this: You are a lawyer and your potential client wants to file lawsuits against multiple states alleging imaginary crimes. Literally, crimes no one can see. There is no proof, no receipts, no video, Maury isn’t there, Tekashi 6ix9ine isn’t thereliterally nothing to prove your potential client’s case.

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But he’s got two things that work for you: a public platform and money!

You take the case and then go on a crusade the world has never seen before. You follow your client’s lead and start making all kinds of claims without any proof, and then something odd happens. Your client, the one who wanted the fictitious claims defended, thinks you are too bonkers. Your client thinks your claims are too outrageous for him.

And then your client distances himself from you, leaving you there alone on a fictitious island of made-up shit.

Such is life for Sidney “Release the Kraken” Powell.

On Sunday, Trump’s campaign noted that Powell is a lawyer who is working on her own. One unnamed Trump campaign aide who I’m totally making up said, “I mean we know her but we don’t really fuck with her like that.”

“Sidney Powell is practicing law on her own,” Trump’s personal attorney, Rudy Giuliani, said in a statement, New York Post reports. “She is not a member of the Trump Legal Team. She is also not a lawyer for the President in his personal capacity.”

The Post notes that during the press conference where Giuliani’s human face mask was starting to come undone, Powell, without proof, began claiming that “machines used by Dominion Voting Systems switched voter selections from Trump to Biden with the help of Smartmatic software.”

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On Sunday, Michael Steel, a representative with Dominion, said, “Slim, is fucking lunching.”

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Fine, he said: “This is a nonpartisan American company. It is not physically possible for our machines to switch votes from one candidate to the other,” Steel said on Fox News.

Powell released a statement noting: “I will continue to represent #WeThePeople who had their votes for Trump and other Republicans stolen by massive fraud through Dominion and Smartmatic, and we will be filing suit soon. The chips will fall where they may, and we will defend the foundations of this great Republic.”

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Umm, she can give it up now as she’s been fired.

Judge to Giuliani: Boy, If You Don’t Get Your Ass Out of My Courtroom

A federal judge looked at the crumpled papers Trump’s personal lawyer Rudy Giuliani brought into his courtroom and began laughing. The Trump campaign was attempting to block the certification of votes in Pennsylvania, claiming widespread irregularities with mail-in ballots.

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It was all bullshit and U.S. District Court Judge Matthew Brann knew it.

It isn’t just that Brann shot Giuliani and his goons down; Brann Thanos snapped that shit into oblivion.

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“One might expect that when seeking such a startling outcome, a plaintiff would come formidably armed with compelling legal arguments and factual proof of rampant corruption,” Brann wrote, the Associated Press reports. “That has not happened.”

That has not happened, Brann wrote. “Instead, this Court has been presented with strained legal arguments without merit and speculative accusations, unpled in the operative complaint and unsupported by evidence. In the United States of America, this cannot justify the disenfranchisement of a single voter, let alone all the voters of its sixth most populated state. Our people, laws, and institutions demand more.”

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Huh?

I can’t hear y’all…

I thought a Trump lawyer said something.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.

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