GTFOH Trump Watch: There Is No There There

Illustration for article titled GTFOH Trump Watch: There Is No There There
Photo: Spencer Platt (Getty Images)

Imagine the president of the United States calling his staff into the Oval Office to show them an imaginary ham sandwich on the Resolute desk. The president wants to know who put it there. One by one, staff members come in and are questioned about the ham sandwich that they don’t see. And one by one, each staff member agrees that there is, in fact, a ham sandwich on the desk but they don’t have any idea how it got there. Now Republican Congress members are not only backing the imaginary ham sandwich being there, they are encouraging an investigation to make sure all the bread and ham are accounted for.

Advertisement

But no one, not the president’s staff, not Republicans in Congress, not anyone with some goddamn sense will say, “Mr. President WTF are you talking about? Ain’t no fucking sandwich on that table!”

This is what the presidential election has become. Trump is still acting like there was mass voter fraud and Republicans in Congress are appeasing this bullshit.

Advertisement

From the Washington Post:

In recent days, Trump’s appointees and allies have alighted on a strategy to support his refusal to admit defeat and initiate a peaceful transfer of power. Instead, they are nurturing the president’s ego by indulging his delusions about the vote count and fueling conspiracy theories that the election is being stolen from him.

The White House has instructed government agencies to block cooperation with the Biden transition team — including the General Services Administration, whose Trump-appointed administrator, Emily Murphy, has refused to sign paperwork that releases millions in preallocated dollars to fund the transition and gives Biden’s team access to agency officials and information.

These unprecedented moves risk further eroding public trust in democratic institutions, and they have potentially dangerous consequences. The nation is at its most vulnerable state during the transition period between administrations, according to experts in governance and public service, who worry that the Trump administration is threatening national security by denying Biden the necessary resources, intelligence and other information to conduct his transition.

All of this because no one can just say, “I don’t know what you’re pointing at, but I don’t see a fucking ham sandwich.”

Sweaty-Ass Mike Pompeo

Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, who always sounds nervous and is mad sweaty, is refusing to acknowledge Joe Biden’s victory because he, like the rest of Trump’s minions, has the backbone of frozen yogurt.

Advertisement

During a statement at the State Department, Pompeo joked (because surely he was fucking joking, right?) that “there will be a smooth transition to a second Trump administration.”

Advertisement

Oh, so your sweaty ass is in on it, too? OK.

Pompeo is the nation’s top diplomat and he’s pushing a baseless and completely fabricated Trump conspiracy theory in front of the world. Not only is this irresponsible, but it’s also potentially dangerous.

Advertisement

Pompeo added that every vote will be counted (umm, every vote was already counted) and noted that “when the process is completed, they’ll be electors selected. There’s a process, the Constitution lays it out pretty clearly,” CNN reports.

“The world should have every confidence that the transition necessary to make sure that the State Department is functional today, successful today and successful with a president who’s in office on January 20 a minute after noon, will also be successful,” he said, CNN reports.

Advertisement

Not after you’ve said that President Trump’s second term will be smooth. This shit isn’t funny with your sweaty ass.

White House Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany Is Basically Me When I Was a Fuckboi 

On the first day that Kayleigh McEnany took over her role as the White House press secretary, she vowed that she wouldn’t lie. The very next day, she lied and has been lying ever since. It’s kind of what you do when you’re trash. I should know. I used to be trash. I used to do whatever I needed to get what I wanted. I lied. I bent the truth. I looked at the truth and ignored it. I lied some more. I stretched conversations to the point of exhaustion. I always argued for another side. I basically would’ve made a great press secretary for the Trump administration.

Advertisement

So I actually understand where McEnany is coming from when she couldn’t answer whether or not she’d denounce the president if he admitted he was racist. She’s on autopilot at this point. She’s been doing fuckshit for so long that it’s in her DNA. If god forbid, they needed to give McEnany a blood transfusion, I’d expect her blood to drag out a conversation about how it knows that the paper says she’s AB but she’s really A because she was first in her class.

So here’s a clip of McEnany playing the role of fuckboi and Chris Cuomo destroying her ass in the role of a scorned lover who just wants a straight fucking answer.

Advertisement

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.

Share This Story

Get our newsletter

DISCUSSION

babylonsystem
Babylon System

Mike Pompeo is on top of my list for the firing squad, then Barr.

His pompous ass has no shame or dignity.

Meanwhile, 1 in 29 people in Texas has covid, over 1 million infected and 52% of their dumb-asses still voted for Trump.