GTFOH Trump: Thank You, Mr. President

Illustration for article titled GTFOH Trump: Thank You, Mr. President
Photo: Tasos Katopodis (Getty Images)

Thank you, President Trump for raising the sun this morning and keeping my car console fully stocked with throw-away masks. Thank you for the Supreme restock on the Air Force 1s, and thank you for Starbucks unlimited supply of chocolate croissants.

And since we are thanking Trump for shit he had nothing to do with, thank you Mr. President for moving the transition along in an attempt to save the GSA’s Karen, aka Administrator Emily Murphy, who added herself into the presidential subplot and then painted herself as the victim.

Man, to be a Karen is to be both the perpetrator and the victim at once. It’s literally like robbing yourself and then calling the police to say that you’ve been robbed. All Murphy had to do was release the funds to President-elect Joe Biden, but instead, she put herself in the middle of some shit she had nothing to do with and then claimed she was being victimized by the decision she had to make.

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Except, she had no decision to make. America had already decided. We elected Joe Biden. There was literally nothing to decide. To prove my point, name another GSA administrator in the history of America. I’ll wait. Hell, name what a GSA administrator did before any of Murphy’s fuckshit happened.

A live look at Murphy blaming America for some shit she brought on herself:

Illustration for article titled GTFOH Trump: Thank You, Mr. President
Gif: giphy.com

And just like a powerful white man, Trump believed himself a savior and allowed himself to allow Murphy to do her job and allow Biden access to millions in federal funds.

You hear that, dear reader? Trump didn’t allow for the release of funds because of pressure from everyone, including a scattering of Republicans. He didn’t release the funds because not releasing them didn’t stop anything; he released the funds to stop the unfair assault against Murphy, who was a victim of her own doing.

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So thank you, Mr. President, for saving a non-drowning white woman from the puddle she put herself in.

Dutch Jesus Isn’t Going to Like This

President Trump’s personal lawyer Rudy Giuliani, the only American-born man to successfully wear Dutch Christmas shoes, admits that he’s a lying-ass liar. OK, fine. He didn’t say that, but he did admit that he exaggerated claims of voter fraud, at least when it comes to Detroit.

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“The city of Detroit probably had more voters than it had citizens,” Giuliani said, during an appearance on Lou Dobbs Tonight. “I’m exaggerating a bit, but all you have to do is look at statistical data and you can see that the fraud was rampant and out of control.”

Giuliani is not only a liar but he lies so much, his fucking face started melting during a press conference because not even his face wants to be associated with him.

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“The Michigan Department of State has denied claims of widespread voter fraud in the state,” Yahoo News reports.

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“A hundred thousand ballots were brought in at 4:30 in the morning in Detroit in trucks that look like garbage trucks — in garbage pails actually,” Giuliani said. “All those ballots were counted for Biden with no Republican inspectors around.”

This is also bullshit.

Now if there were only some reason why Giuliani and Trump people keep claiming that Detroit, a population that is 78.6 percent Black, is being accused of voter fraud. I can’t think of anything; can you?

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.

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DISCUSSION

stevetellerite
Beryl_Fitzlegrint

but NOW we have Mr Technocrat himself, Joe Biden

who seems intent on appointing the same hacks and trainees that Obama had and Hillary would have had

this is NOT a step in the right direction

with no Senate, we’re fucked as far as ANY of the shit that is required:

a leash for the police, a harsh tax on obscene Wealth, stimulus checks for all the Poors who haven’t BEEN ABLE to work our shitty jobs

we WOULD have been slaving away, but we COULDN’T, now we’re hungry and it’s getting too cold outside to live in a CAR

...motherfuckers