Government Watchdog Wants Kellyanne Conway Fired, but Conway Wants That Smoke: 'Let Me Know When the Jail Sentence Starts'

Illustration for article titled Government Watchdog Wants Kellyanne Conway Fired, but Conway Wants That Smoke: 'Let Me Know When the Jail Sentence Starts'
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Kellyanne Conway is a federal employee. As White House counselor, she is basically a well-paid executive branch federal employee, but a federal employee, nonetheless. So, as a White Walker affirmative-action hire, she isn’t supposed to be bashing Democratic presidential candidates.


On Thursday, the Office of Special Counsel informed the White House that because Conway can’t stop flapping her jowls, she has, in fact, violated the Hatch Act, which prohibits White Walkers from coming beyond the wall low-level federal employees from campaigning for or against candidates running for office.

The Washington Post reports that President Trump was sent a letter asking that his counselor be “removed from federal service.” The letter included the phrases, “numerous occasions” and “repeat offender.”

“Ms. Conway’s violations, if left unpunished, would send a message to all federal employees that they need not abide by the Hatch Act’s restrictions. Her actions thus erode the principal foundation of our democratic system—the rule of law,” the letter said, CBS News reports.

As you may have already guessed, given the president’s inability to keep his thoughts to himself, the president and vice president are exempt from the Hatch Act. Mike Pence reportedly mimed that he doesn’t give a shit about the Hatch Act because he doesn’t talk. He then walked out of the Oval Office like a robot.

The Office of Special Counsel—a “quasi-judicial independent agency that adjudicates claims of retaliation by whistleblowers and administers the Hatch Act and other civil service rules,” the Washington Post notes—found two violations in March in which Conway reportedly pushed for one candidate in the 2017 Alabama special election for U.S. Senate and encouraged folks not to vote for another.

But it appears that Conway wants all the smoke, according to the Washington Examiner. “When asked about the Hatch Act, she stated, ‘If you’re trying to silence me through the Hatch Act, it’s not going to work,’ and ‘Let me know when the jail sentence starts.’”


Please, golden-fleece-diapered baby Jesus, let her know when the jail sentence starts. Please.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.


Asking A Birdman not to soar

There is no statute of limitation for Hatch Act violations, so please, Kellyanne, keep flapping your gums and making a gigantic target on your back. I’m sure the next Democratic administration aching for payback won’t go after you.