Gabrielle Union Roasts Dwyane Wade, Capes for Klay Thompson

Illustration for article titled Gabrielle Union Roasts Dwyane Wade, Capes for Klay Thompson
Photo: Kevin Winter (Getty Images)

Actress and bestselling author Gabrielle Union’s newly jobless husband was pretty good at basketball in his day. The former Miami Heat, Chicago Bulls and Cleveland Cavaliers player managed to rack up three NBA titles, 13 All-Star team slots, and an NBA Finals MVP among a grocery list of accomplishments. His son, Zaire, looks to be following in his father’s footsteps, matching a high basketball IQ and athleticism on the AAU scene.


But facts are facts, Jack. Fact is, Flash has flamed out. Dwyane Wade is washed.

As if the world didn’t know, now we know Union is aware, and, much like any loving partner, has all the time for a few jokes at the former high-flyer’s expense.


Following the news that Golden State Warriors forward and four-time NBA champion Klay Thompson didn’t make a single All-NBA team, Wade learned that he received a single vote.

All-NBA teams are divided into first, second and third rungs, and are reserved for the 15 of the league’s most talented and statistically dazzling stars. Due to the league’s collective bargaining agreement, players can earn (or conversely lose) major salary boosts with an All-NBA selection, especially in the final year of a contract.

Thompson, a mainstay on a sports team for the record books, is in the final year of a team-friendly contract. His snub could cost him up to $30 million dollars.

Wade, in a playful video posted to Twitter, thought his vote might have come from his loving wife.


“I got news that I got a vote to be on the All-NBA team,” Wade said, panning the camera to a nearby Union. “Baby, did you vote for me?”


“No ... I voted for Klay Thompson,” she fired back.

“I voted for Klay too, but I don’t get a say,” Wade said after the playful shade. “With that being said, whoever voted for me, I do appreciate you, but you definitely could have saved that vote for one of the people who deserved it.”


“Klay Thompson!” added a comically indignant Union.

“I didn’t need the vote but thank you, but I didn’t need it,” Wade continued.

“You know who needed it? Klay Thompson,” said Union.

Klay Thompson is unfathomably rich and has earned his money alongside his reputation as one of basketball’s greatest shooters, bar none. He is better at his job than I will ever be at anything. But $30 million? Sheeeeeeeeit. Gabby ain’t tell a single lie.

Contributing Editor. When he's not pullin' up, he's usually jumpin' out. You can find him in the cut.

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There isn’t a person on the planet who would KanyeShrug losing out on $31million; he’s prolly more upset about that than any sort of honor or glory in being selected as an All-Star.

But....he ain’t THAT nice where his selection was a given (e.g. Chef Curry with the sauce). Everyone selected deserved the spot more - albeit In varying degrees - than he did.