Former President ChooChoo Von RacistMan Appears on Republican OnlyFans and Claims He’s Looking at 2024 ‘Seriously’

Illustration for article titled Former President ChooChoo Von RacistMan Appears on Republican OnlyFans and Claims He’s Looking at 2024 ‘Seriously’
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Former President Heidi Von SlumLord knows how to keep racists hanging on his every breath.

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During an appearance on Sean Hannity’s Fox News show “What Time Is It? It’s Racist o’Clock” (seriously, do you know the name of his show?) Von ShitBird teased whether or not he’s considering running for president again in 2024.

“Are you running again in 2024? What are the odds?” Hannity asked, the Wrap reports.

“First of all, it’s a long time. The odds, the odds. What are the odds?” Von BabyStalin responded. “I am looking at it very seriously. Beyond seriously. From a legal standpoint, I don’t want to really talk about it yet.”

Who knows what legal shit Von TaxEvasion was referring to? Hopefully, he knows that he’s going to prison for something and doesn’t want to get his followers in a lather only to disappoint them when he’s behind bars.

Trump also claimed that he’s been vaccinated and that he was asked to do a commercial encouraging his converts to do the same, but he turned it down after a report that the FDA paused the Johnson & Johnson vaccine.

And because the former president can never resist an opportunity to lie about some shit we’ve all seen, Von StumbleLegs claimed that the press made a big deal out of the way he fumbled down a metal ramp at the West Point Military Academy last summer.

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“I had an instance where, on a slippery, slippery ramp, a piece of steelvery steep and very long, no railings, no nothing, and it was pouring at West Point, and the last thing I want to do is go down,” Trump said.

“Did you see that bama Biden fall up the stairs?” Von SaggySkin didn’t say but I’m sure he thought it. “Now he went out like a bad knee.”

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.

DISCUSSION

I find it hard to believe that he will be in any shape to run in 2024. Especially after having spent three years in and out of court.