Making sure he's "daddy material" should be a relationship requirement for women who want children, Nathan Hale Williams advises in his latest Essence column.

Last week, one of my sister-friends revealed that she had a pregnancy scare that turned out to be a false alarm. The major problem is that her current boyfriend is certainly not father material. He is out of work, has three children already (by three different women) and basically has very little redeeming qualities, in my opinion. Still, my sister-friend acknowledged that she was excited about the prospect of having his baby.

I couldn't understand how my sister-friend would even consider dating this guy in the first place let alone sleeping with him. Moreover, her boyfriend specifically told her that he didn't want to have more children and that he wasn't sure where their relationship would end. I'm a firm believer in Dr. Maya Angelou's quote, “When someone tells you who they are, believe them the first time.” He had already explained how the scenario would progress.

It was clear that it was time for some tough love. So, I encouraged her to move beyond her thinking and really take a moment to properly assess her circumstances.

Truly, if her goal is to start a family, than she need not waste her time with this guy any longer.


Read Nathan Hale Williams' entire piece at

The Root aims to foster and advance conversations about issues relevant to the black Diaspora by presenting a variety of opinions from all perspectives, whether or not those opinions are shared by our editorial staff.


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