Donald Trump on the State of the Union: Mother May I? Nancy Pelosi: Yes, You May

Illustration for article titled Donald Trump on the State of the Union: Mother May I? Nancy Pelosi: Yes, You Mayem/em
Photo: Win McNamee (Getty Images)

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi continues to son the shit out of your little “president.”


In her latest gathering of the sniffer-in-chief, Pelosi finally gave Donald Trump permission to give the State of the Union address he has been so desperate to deliver.

In a letter made public via Twitter by her deputy chief of staff, Drew Hammill, Pelosi gave Trump another dose of that polite office-speak that is filled with undertones of snark and full on black mama, “You getting on my damn nerves, boy.


Dear Mr. President,” Pelosi wrote, again all polite and shit.

“When I wrote to you on January 23rd, I stated that we should work together to find a mutually agreeable date when government has reopened to schedule this year’s State of the Union address.”

Translation: You really thought you were going to tell me when you were going to give that little speech? Hahaha boy, if you don’t get. I’m not new to this, I’m true to this. You ain’t running nothing over here but your mouth. Notice how fast your ass called a stop to the shutdown when you realized you weren’t going to get your way on any front. A wall. Tuh. You better get your ass off your shoulders and act like a president—if you even know what that means.

“In our conversation today, we agreed on February 5th,” she wrote.

Translation: Since we both know you will get on national television and Twitter to lie about how you made this happen, let me go on ahead and put the truth out now. You didn’t do shit. I did. I told you that you wouldn’t be giving that speech until I said so, and I meant that shit. So here we are. Feb. 5 is the date.


“Therefore, I invite you to deliver your State of the Union address before a Joint Session of Congress on February 5, 2019, in the House Chamber,” Pelosi wrote.

Translation: Never forget that you can’t do this shit without my permission. You ain’t running shit. Your nose is running. That post-nasal drip is running. But you? You ain’t running shit, my guy. Do not forget who is in charge here. I run this. Not you. Me. You can’t come give that dumb ass speech unless I invite you to, so this is me inviting you. Don’t make me regret it.


“Thank you for your attention to this matter,” she concluded.

Translation: I know you are slow and will undoubtedly forget the order of events here, so again I will remind you—I am the captain over here. Not you, boy. Me. Make sure that chicken is thawed out before I get home too.


So, that was Nancy sonning him on the 23rd, Trump conceding that same day, and now Nancy sonning him again.

Nancy Pelosi 3; Trump 0.

News Editor for The Root. I said what I said. Period.

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Rooo sez BISH PLZ

Do we know why Speaker P didn’t make him wait till after the 15th to make sure he didn’t pull any more shutdown shenanigans?