Vanessa Trump and Donald Trump Jr. in April 2011 in New York City
Photo: Andrew H. Walker (Getty Images)

This whole administration feels like a bad stand-up-comedy set.

Donald Trump Jr. is so cheap ...

Come on, y’all: “How cheap is he?”

He’s so cheap, his wife, Vanessa, is divorcing him because he “treats her like a second-class citizen” and kept his purse strings so tightly pulled that she had to ask her mother for money just to live.

According to several sources who spoke with the New York Post’s Page Six, Trump Jr. treated his wife like a “second-class citizen.” I know I mentioned this before, but I didn’t want you guys to miss out on your chance to make Melania jokes.

OK, I’m horrible ... whatever.

One friend told Page Six: “He gives her very little help and has been keeping her on a tight budget. She doesn’t live a lavish life and can very rarely pick up a check at dinner.”

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A second source told Page Six, “Don Jr. was never generous with money. Vanessa has had to rely on her mother for financial help for her personal needs.”

However, a spokesperson for Vanessa told the gossip column: “All of these claims are simply not true. Don and Vanessa have tremendous respect for each other and always have. The notion that she has had to rely on her family for assistance is absolutely false and utterly ridiculous.”

Sources noted that the couple’s marriage was on the rocks long before they filed divorce papers in March. According to one woman who spoke with Page Six, the couple was having “relationship problems before they married in 2005. Plus, his father’s presidency has further exacerbated their issues.”

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“They were having problems before they even got married. People were telling her not to marry him before the wedding,” the source said. “She was interviewing divorce lawyers before [Donald Trump’s presidency]. No one thought he’d win. He won, and she decided to stay until his term is over. But she just couldn’t stand it anymore.”

Vanessa never vowed to stay with Trump Jr. while his dad was in office, according to her spokesperson. I think that’s kind of clear, considering that she’s filed for divorce.

But Page Six sources weren’t through; they also added that Vanessa hates when “he posts stuff online, pictures of their kids and how he paints the picture of him as a perfect father, like he’s Mr. Dad. It’s not the truth. And when he’s not away on business trips, he’s hunting and fishing.”

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I bet you can’t guess what Vanessa’s rep had to say about this? Wrong; she denied it.

“Vanessa is very protective of her five children as anyone would be, especially those in the public eye. That said, any claims that she is unhappy with Don posting photos of their children on social is not true. In fact, Vanessa is usually the first to ‘like’ the posts that he shares. Don is a wonderful and very involved father.”

Two things we’ve learned from this article is that we should all find a friend like Vanessa’s spokesperson, and Trump Jr. is so cheap, he keeps the heat on 47, reuses birthday candles and gets his hair cut at a beauty college.