Donald Trump Hates Jeff Sessions So Much, He Is Now in Support of Legalized Marijuana

Illustration for article titled Donald Trump Hates Jeff Sessions So Much, He Is Now in Support of Legalized Marijuana
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Donald Trump hates Jeff Sessions with a passion. Sessions thought he was going to be a Trump guy, coming out all early in support of Trump for president. He thought he was in for sure when Trump put him up for the U.S. attorney general job. He was probably like, “I’m in there!”


Poor, stupid Sessions. He messed up when he recused himself from the Russia investigation. He should have known old Donnie was a fair-weather friend who was appointing people he figured could help further his personal agenda. Sessions, you are of no use to Trump if you are not doing his bidding.

The evil Keebler elf thought he was different, but found out quickly that he wasn’t.

You can tell Trump really just wants to square up with Sessions. In the White House Rose Garden. With people watching and placing bets.

Just him and Jeff. Knuckling up the way “real” men are supposed to.

Even after becoming the president’s whipping boy, Sessions persevered—advancing his own personal vendetta against marijuana and all the hippies and darkies who use it.

Too bad for him, all of Trump’s friends want to make money off that cash crop. With so many states legalizing marijuana, you can either beat them or join them.

So, in Trump’s latest move to make Sessions look like an idiot, he has sided with states that have legalized marijuana and pledged to support a legislative fix to the federal-and-state conflict that has arisen as more states have moved toward legalization.


The Washington Post was the first to report that Trump struck a deal with Republican Sen. Cory Gardner of Colorado last week, promising him that despite Sessions’ memo to the contrary, the marijuana industry in Colorado would not be targeted by federal authorities.

Trump made the promise in order to get Gardner to back away from his promise to block any and all Justice Department nominations as long as there was a threat of a federal marijuana crackdown in states where it had been made legal.


On Friday, Gardner said in a statement: 

Since the campaign, President Trump has consistently supported states’ rights to decide for themselves how best to approach marijuana. Late Wednesday, I received a commitment from the president that the Department of Justice’s rescission of the Cole memo [the Obama-era policy protecting states that legalized marijuana] will not impact Colorado’s legal marijuana industry.


He added that the president had assured him that he would “support a federalism-based legislative solution to fix this states’ rights issue once and for all.

“Because of these commitments, I have informed the administration that I will be lifting my remaining holds on Department of Justice nominees,” Gardner continued.


I’m sure the bonus points in this whole deal—for Trump, anyway—are that this is a slap in the face to Sessions.

In the words of Cardi B, Donald Trump is stuntin’ on Jeff Sessions out of muthafuckin’ spite.


Damn, homie. Sessions used to be the man, homie. What happened to you?

Jeff Sessions is basically the Rodney Dangerfield of this administration.

He can’t get no respect.

News Editor for The Root. I said what I said. Period.


Sorely Vexed

Hey, Gardner: you may want to try to cash that check before you give Trump what he wants.