Does Sarah Huckabee Sanders Have One Foot Out the White House Door and the Other on a Banana Peel?

Illustration for article titled Does Sarah Huckabee Sanders Have One Foot Out the White House Door and the Other on a Banana Peel?
Photo: Alex Wong (Getty Images)

White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders’, aka Suckabee, aka Big Aunt Lydia, aka the Devil’s Mouthpiece, days are numbered, and at this point, it’s just a matter of when. I study the White House, and I also grew up in a dysfunctional family so I know when someone is on the outs and Suckabee is clearly about to be Jazzy Jeff’d out the front door.


Sure, she’s denying it and the newest member of the White House communications staff, Bill Shine, is denying it too, but the writing is on the wall. For all of Suckabee’s lies, mistruths and misdirections, she still looks frazzled during press briefings. Indignant as she may be, Suckabee doesn’t have the same personable charm that Trump has when he continuously lies to his base. In turn, the White House is looking for someone to replace her, whether the White House will admit it or not.

“I have not had a meeting or discussion about this,” Shine told Politico just last week. But on Monday, Politico reported that Shine, whose past life was as a Fox News executive, has been asking for input from others on Suckabee’s replacement.

According to The Hill, just last month Suckabee had to thwart off rumors that she was looking to step down from her position as apologist for the president at the end of 2018.

“I can tell you that I show up here every day,” Sanders told reporters, CBS News reports. “I love my job. I’m glad to work for the president.


“Each and every day, I’ll pray for clarity and discernment about what my future looks like,” she continued. “I think the country’s looks pretty good, and I’m glad to be a part of that process, and I’m going to continue to do my job.”

Politico’s recent report notes that a lot can change in a month and that Trump’s advisers are already compiling a short list of candidates to take over her job.


Among some of the names being floated to take over the position from Suckabee includes Heather Nauert, the current State Department spokeswoman; former Fox News host and new leader of a pro-Trump organization, Kimberly Guilfoyle, Donald Trump Jr.’s current bae; and White House deputy press secretary Raj Shah, among others.

Funny that Shah would be mentioned as a possible replacement since he’s also rumored to be leaving the White House this year, according to The Hill.


But here’s why we know that Suckabee is on her way out; first, she’s done nothing to make any friends in the White House press corps, except the ongoing incestuous relationship with the White House and the reporters at Fox News. Secondly, she lost her mojo, assuming that she ever had any. At one point, Suckabee had an aww-shucks thing that was working for her and now she’s just a mean woman with a drawl. Thirdly, she’s bad at her job. Her job as defined by the president is to carry the company lie without regard or concern, and more often than not, Suckabee gets confrontational and explanatory. If Suckabee were a horse, I think we’d all agree that she had a great run and now we can look away as Shine walks her away from the podium and towards the glue factory.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.



I’m looking forward to her Pie recipe book and basic cable commercials for Revlon Ultra Lash.

Excited for Guilfoyle’s upcoming tenure as Minister of Propaganda. I hope the job is everything she dreamed it would be.