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Do It Like It’s Your B-Day: Obama Planning Big 60th in Martha’s Vineyard

The best president ever to place his Stacy Adams on the Resolute Desk is turning 60.

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Image for article titled Do It Like It’s Your B-Day: Obama Planning Big 60th in Martha’s Vineyard
Photo: Drew Angerer (Getty Images)

Black America’s forever President Obama is turning 60.

So what do you give a man who has everything? No, seriously I need gift ideas because I’m sure that I’m invited, I just can’t find my invitation. I blame Louis DeJoy.

Anyway, sources have told the Hill that this is going to be one of the bougiest Black gatherings in the history Black folk. OK, fine. No one told the Hill this but seriously, you got the Obamas—the closest thing America has to a royal family–the Zs, which is what I’ve taken to calling Jay and his family—America’s other royal family who will surely be invited and the rest of ’em.

“The former president, who has spent recent weeks at his home on the posh island, is expected to be joined by dozens of friends at his oceanside abode, set on nearly 30 acres,” the Hill reports.

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“It’s going to be big,” said one source.

We don’t have any details other than the Obamas, Martha’s Vineyard and speculation that a shit ton of people not in our tax bracket are going to be there, including Black royal Oprah Winfrey and George Clooney, allegedly.

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Guests have been asked to have COVID-19 tests before coming to the event, which has reached soiree levels when it involves the Obamas and their “seven-bedroom, nearly 7,000-foot mansion the Obamas purchased for $11.75 million in 2019.”

The Hill notes that while the plans for the 60th have been tightly guarded, if this birthday is anything like his 50th then it’s a given that it will be epic.

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From the Hill:

When he turned 50 in 2011, he hosted a coterie of guests at the White House to celebrate, including musicians Jay-Z and Stevie Wonder, actor Tom Hanks, comedian Chris Rock and basketball legends Charles Barkley and Grant Hill.

The party — which featured performances in the East Room by the likes of Ledisi, Herbie Hancock and Wonder — was said to carry into the following day with guests eating barbecue and dancing.

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Obama turns 60 on Aug. 4.

I will be checking the mailbox daily.

Obama’s spokeswoman did not respond to a request for comment (about my invitation).