By now you’ve read or heard that the president of people who call roadkill a “free dinner” hosted the NCAA football national champion Clemson Tigers at the White House and served them the same shit they could’ve gotten at the school’s dining hall.
I first scoffed at the idea of the Tigers even attending the event considering the president is basically a trashcan and The Root staff writer and knower of all Southern historical shade Michael Harriot explained that he wasn’t saying that Clemson coach, Dabo Swinney, wears camouflage when not hunting, uses “mud” as a verb and drives a pickup with nothing to actually pick up, but he wouldn’t be surprised if he did.
As such, all the players, black and white, attended the event wearing suits only to be served Big Macs and pizza on fine china by candlelight.
Because Trump has shut down the government, he no longer has a kitchen staff and showed just how the shutdown is truly affecting the White House as he was forced to order out and allegedly paid for the whole spread out of his own pocket.
Now, here is where things get tricky. Standing before a spread of some of the finest America fast food, Trump claimed: “we have 300 hamburgers, many, many french fries — all of our favorite foods,” Vox reports.
Here’s video proof that Trump claimed there were 300 hamburgers and also there was candlelight.
According to TigerNet.com the Clemson roster has ninety-nine players. If we include all of the coaches and staff who tagged along for the chance to meet the real-life Grimace, let’s say that there were 150 people attending the event. 300 hamburgers would be more than enough. not to mention the number of filet-o-fishes (is this the plural for filet-o-fish? Fishi? Fishy?) and pizza. The president did a good job of ordering for a large party.
(Editor’s note: The plural of Filet-o-fish is “Tilapia pop-tarts.”)
Once Trump was in front of the players the 300 burgers grew to 1,000.
From the Washington Post:
At the outset of his remarks to the team, its coaches, Clemson officials and politicians, including South Carolina Sens. Lindsey O. Graham (R) and Tim Scott (R), Trump said he had a “choice” of possibly having “no food” for the players “because of the shutdown.”
“Or do we give you some little quick salads that first lady will make, along with the second lady; they’ll make some salads,” the president continued. “And I said, ‘You guys aren’t into salads.’ … Or do I send out for about 1,000 hamburgers?”
And this is where the story grew. From that point on, the story of the burgers went from 300 to 1,000.
Tuesday, the president was still tweeting that he ordered 1,000 hamburgers which wouldn’t even make logical sense.
What does this prove? Well, it proves that Trump is a liar and a liar will lie about anything. He’s effortless with it. The funniest part is that Trump never needed to even mention how many burgers he purchased but he did so because he can’t stand doing something and not receiving accolades. He’s the guy that would bring two six-packs of Bud Light to your Super Bowl party and never let you forget that he brought a case of artisanal microbrew to your shindig.
And I’m currently yelling at my computer screen, “It’s fast food! get over yourself stop acting like this Michael Kors-ass administration is Gucci!”
Burger Lies matter.