President Donald Trump introduces U.S. Circuit Judge Brett M. Kavanaugh as his nominee to the United States Supreme Court during an event in the East Room of the White House July 9, 2018 in Washington, D.C.
Photo: Chip Somodevilla (Getty Images)

I love me some conspiracy theories. In fact, I am convinced that Tupac Shakur is currently living as a goat farmer in Cuba. Don’t @ me. So, I will say that this one unnamed news source has a bit of a conspiracy-esque tinge to it, but let’s just go with it for a second.

On Monday morning, an NBC News White House correspondent with Twitter’s blue check proving he’s not a Russian bot, tweeted:

Here’s what we can confirm:

Geoff Bennett is a real person.

He isn’t an empty face for the left. He isn’t a fake Twitter account. He’s actually a very real person, with a real job and real sources. Geoff Bennett doesn’t wade in the fake-news pond, and while that would normally go without saying, nothing about Trump’s America is normal.

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Trump is shady AF.

If you look outside your window and see water from the sky and then ask Trump what’s going on and he says, “It’s raining,” you should still go outside and make sure that it isn’t a Russian prostitute pissing on your house ... because Trump is shady. Currently, the president of the United States is all Friends and Family plan with dictators Kim Jung Un and Vladimir Putin while beefing with Canada and Germany. He’s currently running tariffs on goods from China but somehow doesn’t include his daughter’s clothing line of kitten heels and old-lady-cruising-the-buffet wear. So would it really shock you if Trump did have some kind of deal with Kennedy before he stepped down?

Trump had a private meeting with Kennedy. 

According to a Politico story, after Trump’s private meeting with Kennedy, in which the justice informed the president that he was going to be retiring, Trump walked out of the meeting intent of picking Kennedy’s former law clerk, Brett Kavanaugh.

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Here’s how Politico explains the president’s possible skullduggery.

So even as Trump dispatched his top lawyers to comb though Kavanaugh’s rulings and quizzed allies about whether he was too close to the Bush family, potentially a fatal flaw, the president was always leaning toward accepting Kennedy’s partiality for Kavanaugh while preserving the secret until his formal announcement, sources with knowledge of his thinking told POLITICO.

Trump, who spent more time with Kavanaugh than the other finalists, was impressed with the judge’s credentials, long judicial record and fidelity to the Constitution, according to administration officials. What was listed as a deal-breaker to some on the right—his long paper trail—was actually the thing that drew Trump to Kavanaugh.

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Then, if all of this is true, well that means that his primetime announcement was bullshit.

Yes, yes it was. But it was bullshit even if Trump didn’t know who he was going to pick. It was bullshit because the president of the United States held America hostage so he could unveil his Supreme Court nominee like he was giving out Powerball numbers. This is how Trump made a Supreme Court pick all about himself, which is really what he’s good at. And shame on the news stations for building hype around that bullshit. Instead of covering it like a regular news event, all of us were receiving news alerts as if a hurricane was headed our way.

If I’m judging this conspiracy theory on a scale of Obama is a secret Muslim (dumbest) to 9/11 was an inside job (the most credible), then I’d have to say this is feeling way more freedom fries than Obama, the jihadist. I also put nothing past this president. Nothing.