The Devil's Mouthpiece, Sarah 'Suckabee' Sanders, Is Having a Tough Time Defending Trump's Lies

Illustration for article titled The Devil's Mouthpiece, Sarah 'Suckabee' Sanders, Is Having a Tough Time Defending Trump's Lies
Photo: Mark Wilson (Getty Images)

In her first press briefing in two weeks and only her third on-camera briefing in the past 30 days, White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders, aka “Suckabee,” is having a hard time doing her job.


That’s because her job entails trying to keep up with the president’s lies. So far, Trump’s story on whether or not he believes Russia was involved in hacking the 2016 presidential election changed more times than Lady Gaga changes performance wigs. Since Monday, the president has gone from “Putin do you love me, are you riding?” to “Jaded” to “That’s How You Feel” to “Nice for What”—all in the course of a few days.

On Wednesday, Suckabee strolled her melancholy, perpetual ludic-dreaming bitch face to the podium to try and field questions about where Trump’s presidency stands on Russia and its resident thug Putin. Needless to say that shit got messy real quick with reporters yielding time to other reporters like a congressional hearing.

The majority of the questions were surrounding a Wednesday morning cabinet meeting in which the president fielded a few questions from reporters. Cecilia Vega, ABC News’ White House correspondent, asked the president “whether the United States was still a target of Russian-led cyberattacks” to which Trump clearly responded “no” a claim that would clearly contradict Trump’s own director of National Intelligence, Dan Coats, just a day after Trump claimed that he believed U.S. intelligence information that stated Russia is always a threat to our elections.

Suckabee being the twister of tales that she’s become shifted the narrative to claim that the president’s “no” was not to Vega’s question but was, in fact, a declaration that he wouldn’t be taking any more questions.

It’s bullshit. It’s totally bullshit. Even the dictionary knows that it’s total BS.

Wait ... I have live footage of Slim Charles from The Wire giving Suckabee a pep talk before she walked out to face reporters.

So the Trump administration will fight on this lie. It’s kind of what they do until the next lie takes center stage. According to Business Insider, Suckabee answered some variation of this question seeking clarification on the president’s position some 16 times during the briefing.


At one point, an obviously perplexed and annoyed Hallie Jackson, NBC News’ chief White House correspondent, asked Suckabee why anyone should ever believe the president since nothing he says seems to last a day before someone in his administration comes out with a completely different position.

“Why should this president have any credibility to Americans in what he says if in fact 24 hours later—or in this case, three hours later—the White House comes out and says, ‘Just kidding’?” Jackson asked, according to Business Insider.


Sanders denied that this was what the White House was doing.

“We never said, ‘Just kidding,’” she said, adding, “You can take the fact that the president has credibility because he saw that he had misspoken, and he wanted to clarify that yesterday, which he did. So when he sees that he has misspoken, he comes out and he says that.”


Suckabee then tried to move on but Jackson was all, “You going to get these questions ... tah-day!” Suckabee kept trying to call on Jordan Fabian of The Hill, but he was like “Nah, son. Jackson, ask your question.”

Jackson then asked Suckabee to name any time where Trump has publicly called out Russian President Vladimir Putin.


“I think by stating the fact that the president said that Russia interfered with our election, that’s a pretty bold call-out of another world leader,” Sanders said, Business Insider reports.

It was a humbling moment for Suckabee whose energy inside these briefings is always terse and annoyed; for her to be ignored and forced to field another question from Jackson despite her best efforts to move on was priceless.


Suckabee lost control of the pressroom and that isn’t just her fault. Granted she is arguably worse than the president for agreeing to work for an administration that she knew was the Cutlass of luxury cars. She’s responsible for not only normalizing Trump’s brand of hate but defending it. She continues to push the company line that the press is the enemy despite knowing in that cold shallow dark ball of hatred where a human’s heart would be that she’s wrong and lying.

As Trump continues his downward descent into hell, Suckabee will be right there to tell anyone interested that Trump isn’t plummeting to the depths of the earth, he’s merely working from the Summer White House.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.



Look at the Press Corps, FINALLY getting some spine and teaming up to give Suckabee a they should have been doing way back when Spicy Spicer was wrecking shop with his flim flam fuckery.  ABOUT TIME!