Days Black People Are Most Likely to Be Called the N-Word, Ranked

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1. St. Patrick’s Day

2. New Year’s Eve

3. Wednesday (any)

4. Columbus Day

5. The anniversary of the O.J. Simpson verdict

6. MLK Day

7. The night of a presidential election

8. Memorial Day

9. Mardi Gras

10. Black Friday

11. Saturday (any)

12. The Fourth of July

13. The first of the month

14. New Year’s Day

15. The first day of spring break

16. Monday (any)

17. Veterans Day

18. The first day of the NCAA Tournament

19. Friday (any)

20. Thanksgiving

21. Today

22. Sunday (any)

23. Good Friday

24. Christmas Eve

25. Labor Day

26. Arbor Day

27. The day after the Super Bowl

28. Someone’s birthday

29. Street-cleaning day

30. Tomorrow

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB, a contributing opinion writer for The New York Times, and the author of What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Blacker (Ecco/HarperCollins)



I was at a grocery store on Saturday and had to go up to the customer service desk. The guy ahead of me had bought one of their cakes made for St. Patrick’s Day. He was going into them because the icing on the flag wasn’t orange enough for the Irish flag. He was pissed. The customer service guy just looked at them and asked “What do you want me to do?” And they said “I want you to fix it.” Customer service gets this hilarious look and asks “Well do you want me to scrape off the icing and replace it with a different color? But that’s the orange we have so it’s not going to be any closer.” I started laughing.

It was the whitest nonsense I’ve seen in a long time.