Cory Booker for the Win: NJ Senator Introduces Bill to Legalize Weed Nationwide

If anyone can beat the evil Attorney General Jeff Sessions and his hatred for marijuana, it’s the young, charming Democratic senator from New Jersey, Cory Booker.

On Tuesday, Booker introduced, via Facebook Live, legislation to legalize marijuana on a federal level. Booker’s bill would decriminalize marijuana as a Schedule I drug and retroactively remove the charges of those who’ve been convicted of marijuana possession or use. Noting the racial and economic disparities surrounding marijuana arrests, the Marijuana Justice Act would create an incentive pool for states that are willing to change their laws to end the unbalanced application of justice surrounding marijuana laws.

“Our country’s drug laws are badly broken and need to be fixed,” Booker said in a statement viewed by BuzzFeed News. “They don’t make our communities any safer—instead they divert critical resources from fighting violent crimes, tear families apart, unfairly impact low-income communities and communities of color, and waste billions in taxpayer dollars each year.”

Booker’s bill seems both dead-on and smart, but before everyone grabs a blunt and starts gutting, we have to remember who we have in office (President Von Dick Face) and who the attorney general happens to be (Jeff “I love the KKK More Than Marijuana” Sessions).

Here’s how Nicholas Pugliese of NorthJersey.com explained it:

But despite public support and backing from members of both political parties, marijuana legalization efforts have little chance of succeeding in the GOP-controlled Congress. Many Republicans remain skeptical about marijuana reform, while Trump’s Justice Department, led by Attorney General Jeff Sessions, has started rolling back Obama-era policies aimed at granting more leeway to drug offenders.

Sessions directed federal prosecutors earlier this year to resume the practice of pursuing the most severe penalties possible for offenses, a strategy that has resulted in long sentences for many minority defendants and packed prisons. He also petitioned Congress to undo federal provision that prevents the Justice Department from targeting medical marijuana operations in states where they are legal.

And let’s not forget that just last month, Sessions pushed for the criminal-asset-seizure program, which could be used to shut down legal weed operations, because he’s a deplorable and hates weed.

I have no idea what the hell Sessions’ problem is, but you’d think that the head elf of the Keebler organization would see this as an opportunity to think about growth and expansion of his cookie-making business (which, by the way, is run out of a fucking tree!), and perhaps start looking at ways to infuse said cookies with the spoils of the wacky tobacky.