A police officer protecting and serving the suburbs of one of America’s blackest cities was demoted and given an extended weekend break after posting a mumblerap freestyle to social media that could only be appreciated by people whose top five emcees are Post Malone, Iggy Azalea, Dylan, Dylan and Dylan (he does spit hot fiya, though).
According to AL.com, Homewood, Ala. police corporal Jon Newland uploaded a 55-second freestyle to his now-deactivated Instagram account. In an apparent attempt to open for Donald Trump at his next campaign rally, Newland posted the clip of him “getting Wiggy with it” on May 16, nine days before Minnesota police officer Derek Chauvin responded with a video of what thug life really looks like. The video featured the officer flowing over a beat that sounds like the music playing in the background of every movie when the idealistic white teacher pulls up to the home of the promising but troubled black student.
The Associated Press press reports that
Homewood police officer Jon Newland received a three-day suspension and was demoted from corporal to officer, news outlets reported Tuesday. Newland was also moved from the department’s training division back to patrol.
In the video posted on Newland’s Instagram page, which has since been deactivated, the officer rapped, “I wear black and blue, professional gunslinger, rap singer too.”
At the end of the 55-second video, Newland sang “my ways are a blaze of mysterious smoke, around your neck I flex this choke.”
Wait… I think I missed the important part of the AP article. Let me check.
OK, there’s nothing there. You know the Associated Press is very conservative. Maybe they deleted the racist lyrics from their article because the words were too racist. Or maybe the Hitler family made a copyright claim because MC White Thought’s freestyle was chock-full of references to Odinism, a neo-pagan ideology that has been co-opted by white supremacists around the world according to The Atlantic, Time and the Southern Poverty Law Center. The cult-like, semi-religious Heathenry is based on the tenets of Nordic and Viking mythology and is popular among white men but they have very little representation in the hip hop industry…Until now.
Here are the annotated lyrics to Newland’s hot 16:
No sympathy! (born to kill)
No sympathy! (that’s what I feel)
Thorough with this(unintelligible) wear black and blue
Professional gunslinger, rap singer too.
O.G. like Hel(1) with a rebel(2) yell, I prevail
And sail like a Viking(3)with stories I tell.
The halls of Valhalla(4), they do call
Till the last arrow hits me(5), to my knees I fall
I rise like the burning eyes of an ancient God(6)
On top of a pyramid, looking hard
Blood on my hands, to Orion I gaze(7)
Waiting for the sun rays to hit my face
My ways are a blaze of mysterious smoke(8).
Around your neck I flex this choke.
- Hel is the Norse goddess who rules over the underworld.
- The “Rebel Yell” is a supposedly terrifying battle cry used by Confederate soldiers in the Civil War, although, to me, it just sounds like the entire city of Tuscaloosa after Alabama wins a football game.
- Not the Vikings from Minnesota. Researcher Jeremy Michael Fricke writes that “White nationalism and Odinism–a modern iteration of Viking religion–progressively are becoming some of the few not-exclusively-Christian options for white male identity.”
- Valhalla is a mythical place where dead heroes are invited to spend eternity at the invitation of Viking god Odin. Basically it’s the Nordic Mar-a-Lago
- The arrow us a reference to Baldur, a beloved, Jesus-like Norse God and son of Odin who was supposedly killed with an arrow made of mistletoe. Although Hel refused to let Baldur come back from the dead, according to legend and Heathen religious teachers, Baldur will one day rise again. Many people believe Jesus was based on the myth of Baldur, which is why we kiss under the mistletoe at Christmas (to make sure Baldur returns on Ragnarok, the pagan “judgment day”).
- In Norse mythology, Fenrir was Hel’s brother, a giant wolf whose eyes were made of fire (pagan racists love wolves). He’s chained up somewhere but at Ragnarok, Balduer will rise from the dead and Fenrir will open his mouth and eat the sky (seriously, they believe this), killing Odin...Or maybe Newland’s retinas were burning because he got some racism in his eye.
- The Vikings called Orion’s belt “Frigg’s staff.” Frigg is the mother of Baldur. Remember that Balder is the white supremacist messiah, so no jokes about these people being out of their “frigging minds”
- According to legend, Ragnarok will only happen after Fimbulwinter, a years-long winter that precedes Ragnarok. No one will survive the apocalyptic Ragnarok battle, except one white man and one white woman, who were both hiding in a tree watching the battle of the Gods go down. Ken and Barbie will come down out of the tree and repopulate the earth with white people.
This is literally a thing
Newland also founded and runs Blue Line Combatives, a “is a self defense system that offers programs for the everyday citizen as well as those who serve in our Military and Law Enforcement agencies,” according to the company’s Facebook page. The page describes Newland as “an active law enforcement officer” who “serves in an active Hostage Rescue Team and has taught combatives to numerous police officers and civilians.” Although Lil’ Racist Jon regularly works with children, the company’s social media contains many memes and photo references to Nordic Mythology and paganism:
Thankfully, the Homewood Police Department’s crack staff investigated Newland thoroughly and apparently concluded that sharing white supremacist rhetoric doesn’t prevent him from doing his job because KKKRS-One wasn’t on the clock when he was blowing his white nationalist dog whistles.
“Our preliminary investigation has revealed that the officer was off duty when the video was posted and was not representing himself as a Homewood Police officer in any official capacity,” said the Homewood Police Department in a statement. “The lyrics in the video are not reflective of the Homewood Police Department’s policies, procedures, standards, training, or views, as articulated in our use of force policy, which is available at www.homewoodpd.org.”
Newland has not appealed his suspension but he is scheduled to go toe-to-toe with Jeff Sessions at the next Verzuz battle.
Kid Rock has 24 hours to respond.