Confederate-Loving Couple Arrested for Vandalizing Slave Memorial

Nancy Rushton McCorkle (left) and Ryan Francis Barnett (right
Photo: University of North Carolina Police

Two activists dedicated to preserving the memories of American traitors have been arrested for a racist crime spree that included replacing an American flag with the “white man’s flag” and defacing a memorial recognizing the contributions of enslaved Africans.

And also, peeing.

WTVD reports that the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill Police Department arrested Nancy Rushton McCorkle and Ryan Francis Barnett—the Confederate Bonnie and Clyde—in connection with the vandalism of a campus art installation and monument to the slaves who helped build the college campus.

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In an email, the university’s interim chancellor, Kevin M. Guskiewicz, said the Unsung Founders Memorial was blemished with “racist and other deplorable language ” around 1:30 a.m. on March 31, according to WRAL. Law enforcement officers also discovered another installation had been vandalized with “hateful language and racial slurs.” The couple reportedly ended their crime spree by flying a Confederate flag in front of the school’s administration building.

Then, like most criminal masterminds, they allegedly stopped to take a quick piss.

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The accused vandals are reportedly affiliated with Heirs to the Confederacy, a neo-Confederate group that was adamantly opposed to the college’s removal of “Silent Sam,” the monument to the unpatriotic Southern soldiers who got their asses whipped after they chose slavery over their country. Lance Spivey, the group’s leader confirmed that both McCorkle and Barnett are members of the Heirs to the Confederacy, although he did not comment on the weak bladder aspect of the case.

McCorkle, whose rose-colored neck appears slightly inflamed in her mugshot, has publicly referred to herself as “a strong southern women [sic] who puts family God and country first i [sic] live life to help those in need.” In December, she appears to have hosted a prayer service for the statue (seriously, this is a real thing) and her social media posts are littered with references to the Confederacy.

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Screenshot: Facebook

In August, protesters tore down the Silent Sam statue, much to the dismay of the Heirs of the Confederacy. While the group contends that the statue is a monument to their turncoat heritage and Civil War heroes, the statue was erected nearly a half-century after the end of the War of Southern Racists. While many traitor aficionados claim Silent Sam and other Confederate monuments have nothing to do with white supremacy, Julian Carr said this in his speech at the dedication of the Silent Sam statue:

The present generation, I am persuaded, scarcely takes note of what the Confederate soldier meant to the welfare of the Anglo Saxon race during the four years immediately succeeding the war, when the facts are, that their courage and steadfastness saved the very life of the Anglo Saxon race in the South – When “the bottom rail was on top” all over the Southern states, and to-day, as a consequence the purest strain of the Anglo Saxon is to be found in the 13 Southern States – Praise God.

I trust I may be pardoned for one allusion, howbeit it is rather personal. One hundred yards from where we stand, less than ninety days perhaps after my return from Appomattox, I horse-whipped a negro wench until her skirts hung in shreds, because upon the streets of this quiet village she had publicly insulted and maligned a Southern lady, and then rushed for protection to these University buildings where was stationed a garrison of 100 Federal soldiers. I performed the pleasing duty in the immediate presence of the entire garrison, and for thirty nights afterwards slept with a double-barrel shot gun under my head.

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Sounds like white supremacy to me.

Of course, it is hard to argue against the idiotic logic of those who defaced a monument to slaves who built this country as a way of protesting how people disrespect their ancestors. Now everyone can see that they believe in honoring and preserving history.

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I guess they showed us.

In addition to the misdemeanor charges of ethnic intimidation and damage to real property, Barnett also faces a charge of public urination ...

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Like a real southern gentleman.

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About the author

Michael Harriot

World-renowned wypipologist. Getter and doer of "it." Never reneged, never will. Last real negus alive.