Come On Joe, Not Like This: Biden Is Clout Chasing, Mulling Over Naming Stacey Abrams as Running Mate: Report

Illustration for article titled Come On Joe, Not Like This: Biden Is Clout Chasing, Mulling Over Naming Stacey Abrams as Running Mate: Report
Photo: Win McNamee (Getty Images)

Former Vice President Joe Biden is a lot of things, but a fool isn’t one of them.


OK, fine, a fool is one of them, but this next move, if true, is so obviously clout chasing that it’s embarrassing. According to sources very high up in Biden’s business, the BFF to the best president to ever hand dance with his wife in the Oval Office is not only considering a run for the White House, he’s reportedly considering grabbing one of the hottest names in the Democratic Party to be his running mate: Stacey Abrams.

According to Axios, Biden’s aides think putting his old ass with Abrams would show he’s not “just another old white guy.”

Bitch, what?

Has anyone talked to Stacey Abrams about this? Has anyone asked this black woman with agency, clout, a hot name and a massive following if she would even like to be his old ass running mate? Has anyone told Biden that black women aren’t his prop for votes? Has anyone told Biden that Stacey Abrams isn’t to be played with? Has anyone checked Biden’s life alert to see if he’s fallen and hit his damn head?

Biden is another old white guy, and that’s his fault. Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders is an old white guy, but he’s not another old white guy, and he did that with policy and conversations and Killer Mike, before having a Killer Mike was cool.

Has anyone talked with Anita Hill? Has Biden apologized to her yet?

While Abrams, 45, was unsuccessful in her run for Georgia governor, she has shown that she’s a goddamn Democratic juggernaut. She’s maintained a high profile since that election and was so hot she delivered the Democratic response to President Trump’s State of the Union address.


Side note: I hate all caps but I’m bout to all caps y’all right here.



If that’s not about the whitest shit....

sips green tea and leans into cobra pose

According to Axois, Biden met with Abrams last week, but Abrams has met with other 2020 Democratic candidates as well, including Sens. Elizabeth Warren (Mass.), Kamala Harris (Calif.) and Cory Booker (N.J.).


What Biden might want to consider before he picks his running mate is whether or not said running mate is coming for his old ass neck. How about Abrams hasn’t fully ethered the idea of running for office herself. The Hill notes that while Abrams once thought a possible run for the White House wasn’t in her future until 2028, she has since said that 2020 is “definitely on the table.”

If Biden is going to run for office, then do it like everyone else. Officially add your name to the 3,456 Democrats who’ve already declared, but don’t try and level up using Abrams’ name because you’re an old white man who’s going to have trouble pulling the South.


Also, don’t think about adding a black woman to your ticket before you’ve even declared and have yet to make things right with the black woman you scorned.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.



I cant do this until 2020. Whomever is on the ballot...I’ll vote for. These idiots going to give the glob another 4 years and I just can’t get emotionally involved this cycle. Continuously working backwards.