Black Woman Serves Raw Fists With Side Order of ‘That Smoke’ to Man at Sushi Restaurant

Screenshot: Twitter (TheCyclistIvan)

A video has gone viral of a generous black woman at a California restaurant who decided to look past blatant racism and instead made a charitable donation of free dental work as well as served a complimentary order of knuckle sandwiches, much to the delight of patrons of the sushi eatery.

According to Eater, it all started on Sunday afternoon when the staff of Aburi Premium AYCE Sushi told a gentleman that he would have to wait for a table at the Long Beach, Calif., restaurant. The man, who was either too hungry to wait or felt as if his privileges as a Caucasian-American were being violated, became argumentative, asking why he had to wait.

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“Where are the people? Where are they?,” he asked. Soon, the man spotted someone looking him in the eye and told the woman to “fucking look over there, bitch.”

“Yo, get the fuck out!” yelled another worker, at which point the man decided to stand up for his white rights to go wherever he damn well pleases. But instead of quietly staging a sit-in at the lunch counter, the uncivil rights protester released a barrage of “fuck you” screams into the middle distance, which, I must admit, is also a form of nonviolent resistance.

As Martin Stupid King’s female companion tried to usher him out of the restaurant’s door, the man began imitating a primate and making ape noises although—to be fair—he may have been simply performing a jungle mating call begging for someone to kick his monkey ass.

Luckily, there was someone there to make his dreams come true.

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When the man ran into the restaurant and lunged at someone asking him to leave, a black woman who appeared to have the day off from her full-time job as a member of the Dora Milaje, lept into action. But when the man turned his ire toward her, the Wakandian put down her cup of purple heart-shaped flower tea and delivered multiple portions of fist sandwiches to the sushi-starved scoundrel. At first, I thought it was Storm from the X-Men because of the way overhand rights started raining down out of nowhere until I noticed the way she stood in a southpaw stance and held her guard. Everyone knows Storm is right-handed.

At any rate, after he swallowed much more than the recommended daily allowance of “Deez Hands,” the man ran out of there like he was in King’s Landing and heard the Emergency Dragon Alert System. Even though all signs say the man was clearly “buck,” it seems that he wasn’t quite prepared to “knuck.” As soon as he left, the entire restaurant gave the Sushi Superhero a round of applause.

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While many are calling this a racial incident, I prefer to look at it as an example of the charitable nature of the American citizen. With nothing but an empty belly and a heart full of hate, a starving stranger wandered into a restaurant. And without even asking, this brave, benevolent pugilist saw that this man was in need of a dragging, and selflessly opened a can of whoop-ass and even put it in his mouth for him.

God bless her.

And may the hands of Tawanda from Wakanda be with you all, amen.

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About the author

Michael Harriot

World-renowned wypipologist. Getter and doer of "it." Never reneged, never will. Last real negus alive.