Biden Takes Leads in Georgia and Pennsylvania, Coming Within a Tick’s Toenail of Becoming Next President

Illustration for article titled Biden Takes Leads in Georgia and Pennsylvania, Coming Within a Tick’s Toenail of Becoming Next President
Photo: Tom Brenner (Getty Images)

Can you hear that noise?

It is the faint cries of South Carolina Sen. Lindsey Graham (R) getting punched in the stomach by an enraged Trump, who realizes that his political life is coming to an end as Biden takes leads in Pennsylvania and Georgia, moving within a gnat’s pubic hair of becoming the next president of the United States.

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I want to take this time to personally apologize to Georgia. I know that I called you the sensible kitten heel of states and a bastion of racism, but that is when I’d forgotten that a superhero was living and working there. After having the governorship stolen from her, Stacey Abrams could’ve taken her ball and gone home and no one would’ve blamed her. It’s tough to lose and even tougher to have an election stolen. But Abrams collected herself and immediately got into the work of making sure it never happened again. In 2018, the same year she lost the governorship, she founded Fair Fight 2020 to address voter suppression.

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Her work is the reason that Biden is now in a position to turn Georgia, a solidly red state, blue. And while we can celebrate the possibility of a Biden presidency, let’s be clear: Georgia’s possible turn is all about Stacey Abrams.

The former vice president took the lead around 5 a.m. Friday morning and is currently nursing a 917-vote lead in the peach state. “Biden, who has 253 electoral votes, pulled ahead of Mr. Trump in Pennsylvania by about 5,600 votes on Friday morning. If his lead holds — and it is expected to — the state’s 20 electoral votes would vault him past the threshold to win the election,” the New York Times reports.

If Biden continues to shine in both states, not only will he become the next president of the United States but that means we all get to watch as President Trump goes back to being a regular civilian trying not to go to prison as he’s Jazzy Jeff’d out of the White House.

And yes, for those that are wondering: Trump is continuing to claim fraud. For those that don’t know how “Trump fraud” works, it goes like this: “I’m not winning so something must be fraudulent.” That’s it. With no proof, no evidence and no one saying that there is fraud, Trump is claiming that mail-in voting being counted is fraud. Did I mention that he’s batshit crazy? I probably should’ve stated that before. Trump’s gone so batshit that almost all of his tweets in the last few days are accompanied by a disclaimer that notes “This motherfucker is losing his shit and lying, so just know that before you read this bullshit.”

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But none of that matters now; Trump can scream all he wants as he’s carted out of the White House. Hell, Melania has already seen the writing on the wall and is gathering her things to move in with her boyfriend.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.

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DISCUSSION

I hear a temper tantrum of truly epic proportions coming from the White House right now.