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Denture-Gate: President Thick Tooth of the United ‘Shaehs’ Slurs Speech, and Hilarity Ensues
It was set up to be a big speech, and as President Two Macs von NoFries was ending his announcement recognizing Jerusalem as the capital of Israel, he began slurring his speech. And before you get all “Hey, he might have been having a stroke; have you seen how bad he eats?” on me, I…
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President Pussy Grabber Endorses Accused Pedophile for Congress
Well, there you have it, folks: The sexual predator in chief isn’t playing coy anymore and has full-on endorsed an accused pedophile who’s running for the Senate from Alabama. Because nothing says “Donald Trump” like ignoring a proposed history of shameful acts to benefit the greater movement of complete and utter domination by the 1…
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Texas Republican Used $84,000 of Taxpayer Funds to Settle Sexual Harassment Claim: Report
A Texas republican used taxpayer funds to settle a sexual harassment charge issued by a former staffer, and now that republican is being named. U.S. Rep Blake Farenthold took some $84,000 of taxpayer money to payoff Lauren Greene, a former Farenthold staffer, Politico reports. Farenthold, has served in the House since 2011 and according to…
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Trump Hosted an Empty-Chair Meeting After ‘Chuck and Nancy’ Told Him to Kick Rocks
Let’s recap, shall we? President Shoofly von BotherEveryone was supposed to host a meeting with Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-N.Y.) and House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) to discuss preventing a possible government shutdown. Before the meeting, President DoucheFace von FrostedTufts decided that it would be a good idea to tweet how ineffective and…
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Kareem Abdul-Jabbar Isn’t Feeling LiAngelo Ball’s Ferrari
I hate to say that UCLA great Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is haterating in this dancerie, but the NBA legend isn’t upset that LiAngelo Ball and two other UCLA players (Cody Riley and Jalen Hill) got caught stealing in China; he’s more annoyed that the middle Ball child is cruising campus in a Ferrari. “This is disgusting.…
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When a Deadbeat Dad Attacks a College Grad: Joe Walsh Blew His Racist Dog Whistle on Marshawn Lynch and Twitter Wasn’t Having It
There are some people who become assholes over time, and then there are some people who are just born this way. Joe Walsh was born this way; it’s his gift. I imagine baby Joe Walsh, like an asshole idiot savant, chastising his nanny over the consistency of his breast milk. I imagine teen Joe Walsh…
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LeBron James Is Not Happy With Keeping Up With the Kardashians’ Film Crew, Calls Them a ‘Shit Show’
It’s been a crazy offseason for the Cleveland Cavaliers. After they lost the NBA championship to the Golden State Warriors, rumors emerged that All-Star point guard Kyrie Irving wasn’t happy and wanted out. Trades ensued, and Irving was shipped out for several new additions to the Boston Celtics. Then LeBron reconnected with his homeboy and…
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If Trump Ends DACA, Obama Is Ready to Show Out
Former President, and my president for life, Barack Obama promised that he wouldn’t armchair-quarterback current President Donald von DoucheFace’s presidency. Mostly because he knew that Trump was a disaster waiting to happen and he didn’t want to have to continually answer to von DoucheFace’s slipups. But when it comes to the Deferred Action for Childhood…
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Aaron Rodgers Knows the Truth, Says Colin Kaepernick Is Still a Free Agent Because of His Protest
Aaron Rodgers knows that Colin Kaepernick isn’t on an NFL roster because he had the audacity to protest the killings of unarmed African-American men, women and children at the hands of police. Rodgers noted that anyone who believes that Kaepernick is still a free agent because of his abilities and not his protest would be…
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Trump Still Blaming ‘Both Sides’ for Va. Violence, Says White Nationalists Had Permits and Asks What About the ‘Alt-Left’ That Came Charging at Them?!
On Saturday, 32-year-old Heather Heyer was killed after authorities say a white nationalist slammed his car into a group of protesters rallying to combat hate. It took the president some two days to come out against the group of people whose tiki-torch-laced march led to the death of Heyer and the injuries of several others.…
Black News and Black Views with a Whole Lotta Attitude
