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Nancy Pelosi Contacts Top General About Keeping ‘Unhinged’ President Away From the Nuclear Codes
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi reached out to a top general to find out about adding extra steps to stop “unhinged” President Trump from using the nuclear codes. According to the New York Post, Pelosi called Joint Chiefs of Staff Chairman Gen. Mark Milley about the madman in the White House and what he’s capable of…
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GTFOH Trump Watch: Look Straight Into the Camera and Pretend to Love America
After some 60 failed court attempts to overturn the election and a failed coup, the president of people who still believe that the election was rigged has finally acknowledged electoral defeat. It only took two months, Rudy Giuliani’s human dookie face to begin melting, a whole lot of shouting from the Trump brood and an…
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Congress to Trump: Call Tyrone and Tell Him to Come On and Help You Get Your Shit
The president should be proud. In the end, he almost made the full four years as the most unfit, unwell, unprepared and underwhelming president of the 21st century. But in the end, the sickness of narcissism caught up with him and his ego wouldn’t let the election results rest. He pushed countless, unfounded, conspiracy theories…
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GTFOH Trump Watch: The Boredom of White-on-White Violence
I must say that when I heard that terrorists were coming to town to march for their leader I was excited. Not because I wanted these clowns in the city that raised me, but I thought a front-row seat to some good ol fashioned white-on-white violence would be entertaining. I know. Call me what you…
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5 Black People That Would’ve Been a Better Choice for Attorney General Than Merrick ‘Milquetoast’ Garland
Merrick Garland wasn’t supposed to be eligible to become attorney general because he was supposed to be a Supreme Court Justice. But then Mitch McConnell stepped up and never gave Garland a chance to have a confirmation hearing and thus Trump stacked the court. But that was years ago, back when we could go outside…
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Chuck Schumer to Mitch McConnell: I Thought a Broke Senate Majority Leader Said Something
On Wednesday, when it appeared that Mitch “Turtleneck” McConnell was on the verge of no longer being the Senate majority leader, Chuck Schumer reportedly grabbed the Kentucky senator by his flabby neck skin and told him, “Look at me! I’m the captain now.” Schumer then asked McConnell “Why did the turtle cross the road?” When…
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Here’s Everything You Need to Know About the Electoral College Certification in Congress Today
The first thing to know about Wednesday’s Electoral College certification in Congress is that they do a rack of shit with our votes that I never knew happened because before Trump everyone else accepted defeat. Leave it to a failed real estate tycoon to become America’s first presidential squatter forcing us to learn all this…
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GTFOH Trump Watch: The Devil Went Down to Georgia
You know who really doesn’t give a shit about who wins this Georgia Senate election runoff? The president of people who believe in the seductive powers of Mountain Dew. This man went all the way down to Georgia on the heels of a leaked call in which the president did his best Michael Corleone impersonation,…
