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No One Would Let the Government Shutdown in a Pandemic. Republicans: Hold My Ensure
The government is at the risk of being shut down because, in the eleventh hour, some asshole senator from Fuckstick, Fuckville, has decided that it’s more important to him to screw over President-elect Joe Biden than it is to pass this shitty-ass package into law so that Americans can get some relief. Sen. Patrick J.…
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The Petty Continues: Trump’s Defense Secretary Orders ‘Holiday Pause’ on Briefings to Biden’s Transition Team
Acting Defense Secretary Christopher Miller is following in the president’s petty footsteps as he’s ordered a “holiday pause” on briefings with President-elect Joe Biden’s transition team because the goal of this administration must be to annoy the fuck out everyone. After the Trump administration had to be shamed into giving Biden the President’s Daily Brief…
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GTFOH Trump Watch: Why the $2,000 Trump Stimulus Check Is Bullshit
My homeboy Lavelle and I had this thing we did when a kid wanted to fight me and I didn’t want to fight. I would act like I was taking off my shirt and Lavelle knew that was his cue to jump in and act like he was breaking it up. I was rail-thin growing…
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Mike Pence to Get Televised COVID-19 Vaccine; Biden, Some Time Next Week
In an attempt to ensure Americans (read anti-vaxers and Black folks) that the coronavirus vaccine is safe, Vice President and sexless robot Mike Pence will publicly get the shot Friday. President-elect Joe Biden is expected to get the vaccine as early as next week. Because Pence doesn’t do anything without his wife, Karen Pence (her…
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GTFOH Trump Watch: Wait, You Wanted Us to Get the Coronavirus?
Whenever I think of herd immunity, I think of the monkey house at the zoo. If you’ve ever been to the monkey house in any zoo in the world, it smells like shit. There is apparently no way to get around it. But if you want to see the monkeys, you’re going to have to…
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Sen. Angus King: Want to Stop Coronavirus? Make Netflix and Disney Plus Free
Sen. Angus King (I-Maine) has an idea that’s so stupid it actually might be goddamn brilliant! In a letter Monday, King asked executives at Netflix, Amazon Prime, Disney Plus, HBO Max and Hulu to make their streaming services free during the holidays to get people to stay home and therefore curb the spread of the…
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GTFOH Trump Watch: Even Mar-a-Lago Neighbors Don’t Want You
Once the president and his family are dragged from the White House, they’ve got to live somewhere, and considering how bizarre and meth-infused the last four years have been, there is really only one place for the Trump crime family to settle: Florida. Apparently, Melania is going to continue this whole act as if she’s…
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Biden to Nominate Pete Buttigieg as Head of Transportation
In what continues to be some head-scratching shit, President-elect Joe Biden is expected to nominate Pete Buttigieg as transportation secretary, which is the equivalent of being nominated as the secretary of transportation. Safe to say it’s not a glamorous position. Quick, name another Transportation secretary in the history of ever? Exactly. According to Politico, Buttigieg…
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Stunt Queen Alert: Michigan Republican Leaves GOP Over Trump’s Endless Attempts to Overturn Election
Rep. Paul Mitchell, (R-Mich.) has had enough. And by enough, I mean that babies in cages didn’t bother him nor did a wall to separate Mexico from America. Mitchell wasn’t bothered by the president’s unwillingness to show his taxes or his use of public office to bash dissenters. Mitchell was apparently fine with the president’s…
